The Netflix Whisperer…

Seems The Duchess has a new moniker, Netflix Whisperer. Admittedly, no one is more in the know.

The Goddess and I venture to a birthday celebration. Of course, we wore our masks. Pfft. During dinner, The Goddess, always bright, cheerful and beautiful, leans over and says, “Whatcha watching?” as if my Netfix goods are of the drug variety.

Me, also in a low voice, no idea why, says, “Hmmm. Not much lately. What are you looking for?”

“I’m just so bored and you know everything out there.”

Not sure if I should be honored for authority or shamed for slothfulness.

Then she adds, “Your next blog should be a list. You know divide it up–comedy, drama, like that. Tell everyone what to watch. We need it.”

Never a Doll request unfulfilled, here you go my sweets, the official Duchess Dolls watch list. Keep in mind, in our home, the term Netflix is like the word Kleenex. Thus, any offering could be on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu or HBO. Searching around is the only work you’ll have to put forth.

Stand-Up Hilarity
Iliza Schlesinger: The thinking girls comedienne.
Mike Birbiglia: Pay attention, the stories take a billion twists and turns.
Kathleen Madigan: The woman is a scream, especially if you’re one of the Catholic girls.

Comedy Series
Schitt’s Creek–Hands down, nothing funnier. Don’t miss David’s olive branch dance set to Tina Turner’s Simply The Best. And Moira–are there even words?
I’m Sorry: A girl that will make you cringe and laugh at the same time–haven’t we all been there?

Reality
Pick a Housewives of Anywhere and you can’t go wrong. Except Dallas, don’t pick them.
Selling Sunset: Watch for the fashion and the outsized egos. Ladies, you’re selling houses, not curing cancer.
Love Is Blind: Cringy. Watch it so you understand why everyone hates Jessica even though Marc is no prize.
Tiger King: Because you simply cannot look away from a car crash. And you wish this was a car crash instead.

Dramedy
The stuff of real life.
Dead to Me: Nothing like a widow scorned, right?
Shameless: With a drunken dad like Frank, there’s no way out. Chicago girls will recognize the scenery.
Fargo: Can we ever get enough of the weird, frozen tundra? The answer is no.

Old School
If you missed these gems the first time around, they’ll keep you glued to the tv for days.
The Sopranos: Really, only watched this when the world shut down. What was I doing in the early 2000’s?
Californication: David Duchovny shows us why he ended up a sex addict–and a yummy one at that.
Scandal: If you don’t root for Jake, don’t ever speak to me again.
Bloodline: A family saga on steroids.
Weeds: What’s a girl to do when her husband dies leaving her broke? This one struck a chord.
Mad Men: One of the best ever. If nothing else, take the fashion lessons.
Breaking Bad: The mother of them all. My mantra: As long as Jesse lives, I’m okay. And I really cared.
House of Cards: Learn to be a woman. Claire is giving instruction.

Girlfriends / Sweet Things / Romance
These will pull on your girly strings.
The Crown: Need we say more?
Grace and Frankie: Leaves you wishing for a friend and a beach house to share. With the furniture.
Virgin River: Based on the romance series, this is so sweet you can hardly stand it. Think Hallmark without Christmas.
Good Witch: Life does not get sweeter than this Hallmark series, and she’s a witch–the good kind.
Sweet Magnolias: Devour this one with a good friend and some wine.

From The Brits
They do some great television across the pond.
The Split: A family of chick lawyers, mom and two daughters, family secrets, law firm action, cheating–it’s a must.
Broadchurch: This was my introduction to Olivia Coleman who deserves every acting accolade on earth.
Dr. Foster: Would you go off the deep end if your husband left? You just might.
Safe: A little neighborhood saga with a missing child, nothing to see here.
Sherlock: Benedict Cumberbatch is the all-time best Sherlock. Watch and you’ll see why women became “Cumberbitches” the world over.

Series You Can’t Put Down:
The Sinner: Three seasons of twisty tales through the eyes of criminals. And Jessica Biel bludgeons a guy to death on the beach.
MindHunter: Those guys at the FBI that created criminal profiling–they did it interviewing Manson, Speck and the crew.
Rectify: Can you get enough of Daniel Holden? Is he creepy or is he just cute and misunderstood?
Orange Is The New Black: Falls off at the end. But your heart breaks when a beloved dies. Chicks in prison.
You: Takes a minute to erase Gossip Girl memories from Penn Badgley. Now I’d cross the street if I saw him.
Feud: Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange. Pour a martini for this bumpy ride girls.
Ozark: Don’t ever wish for a less dull life…you might just get it.

Horror:
For those of who need our horror with a side of weird story.
AHS: Pick a season, any season, except the one with the cult. Start with Coven and you’ll be hooked. Bow down to The Supreme. After this series I had my iPhone start calling me The Supreme. She still does. I deserve it.
Ratched: This one is new and tells the backstory of the nurse from Cuckoo’s Nest–a Ryan Murphy delight!

Docs / Docudramas / Docuseries:
This is the stuff that keeps me alive. Truth truly is stranger than fiction.
Making A Murderer: I still don’t know whether he did it. I do know he got screwed.
Surviving R. Kelly: For all those that think he shouldn’t be in jail.
Jeffrey Epstein, Filthy Rich: Men are pigs. You, too, Ghislane. Prince Andrew shame on you. Bill Clinton–who knew you could get worse?
Voyeur: You’ll never stay in a roadside motel again. Not that duchesses ever would, but still.
The Last Dance: Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippin and Dennis Rodman transport us back to those glory days. But sometimes you guys were jerks. Especially the little fat manager.
Ted Bundy Tapes: The guy is scary as hell. And so charming, I would have gone with him. Dumbass.
The Keepers: Secrets always come out you guys. What the hell is wrong with you?
Evil Genius: A guy actually gets blown up. No lie. It happened.
Disappearance of Madeleine McCann: There is something fishy here and no one can follow the stink.
The Staircase: Another guy offering feeble shit as proof he didn’t off his wife.
Unbelievable: This one will make your blood boil. A series of rapes, a victim dismissed. Lives ruined. You know, everyday stuff.
Dirty John: Two seasons of crime becoming series. John will scare the hell out of you. Don’t be stupid. And Betty Broderick who had an asshat of a husband. He’s dead. Let the girl out of jail already.

I know I’ve missed a bunch. But this should get you started. Tell the Dolls what you’re watching. Next up: Whatcha readin’ Dolls?

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