The Great Snack Debate…

Everyone has an opinion. Don’t you hate that?

This time it’s snack food. The debate rages large and loud. There are serious questions. Are tacos a meal or a snack? Pizza? And where does Pinot Noir fit in? The answers: Tacos are appropriate anywhere, anytime and in whatever quantity one might desire. A slice is apropos any time of day, including breakfast. Same goes for the chocolate of one’s choice.

The experts at Thrillist recently offered up a list of the Top 100 snack foods. While some making the list are questionable–I’m talking to you Slim Jims, TGIF potato skins and Corn Nuts–the top five are pretty spot on. Depending, of course, on one’s palate. We’re talking sweet or salty, the bane of a girl’s existence depending on day, time and emotional state.

The top five, in order, are Doritos, Oreos, Pringles, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Goldfish. To be sure, there’s not a stinker amongst them. Pringles walks the line. When they first hit the market, my dad said they weren’t made of real food. I think that every time one melts in my mouth. Notice it doesn’t stop me from eating them. It does, however, stop me from buying them as my father’s admonition echoes in the middle of Fry’s. Some girls want their chips fried from actual potato slices that have been run through a chemical bath, amiright? Like Ruffles, the real chip king.

Doritos reign supreme in the snack world. Take your bag of nacho cheese heaven when you’re alone–the breath problem–and chomp to your heart’s content. Goldfish make every mom’s list ‘cuz we pretended they were healthy. They’re not fried. Are they? And they work in tiny hands. And they’re cute.

Oreos. Who could argue? The problem is in the packaging. Nowhere does it specify a row as a serving size. Pfft.

Which bring us to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. More than one night has found this girl jamming refrigerated peanut butter cups, one after another, down her gullet while watching PS I Love You and sobbing. Don’t know PS I Love You? Old movie about a widow whose dead husband sends her messages. The stuff of widow dreams.

Rounding the top ten: Cheetos, M & M’s, Cheez-Its, Haribo Gummies and Fritos. Some of us never eat Cheetos because of the finger thing. If only they came with gloves. Cheez-Its are just a little too cheesy, non? M & M’s are amongst the finest foods God ever created. Ditto for Fritos. Haribo Gummies? Really? If it tastes like fruit, is it really a snack? They’ll do in a pinch. Like you’re at the office and that’s the only offering. But out in the wild, would you really make that choice?

You can check out the whole list here.

As for others debated by the Dolls in attendance? Bugles, Wheat Thins, Donettes, Heath Bars and anything created by those elves in a tree did not break the top ten. No accounting for taste.

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