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My Dear Woman, You Aren’t Crazy…

“My dear woman, you aren’t crazy.” Ahh, the words every woman longs to hear. That and, “I’ve got the dishes. Why don’t you go take a bath?”

Words from an adoring mate? Nope. The opening line to this month’s Book Club choice, Martinis & Menopause. Yep, we’re talking the change in all its bloody, messy, bitchy glory. Kelli Jaecks is a survivor, of menopause that is. She says she, “catapulted, stumbled, laughed and cried her way to the other side” and she’s no longer “a hormone hostage.” As the title suggests, she’s got martinis to help us though. The only way The Dolls are reading a book about menopause, right?

I meet this blonde beauty at a conference in Vegas. It’s a day spent musing on overcoming fear, creating millions through dream harnessing, enlightenment through the stumbles of those before us and the debate over self- versus traditional publishing.

Some info is new and helpful. Other times, I wonder how the woman onstage is so successful when her skirt doesn’t come close to passing The Cotillion Test.* When her mother told her to keep her legs together when wearing a dress on an elevated stage, was she absent or already building her empire? Perhaps she paid no heed to the fact that princesses sit with legs together, crossed at the ankle so as not to show panties to audience members. Would I trade for her empire? Only if I could cross like a princess when on stage.

I become so engrossed in thinking perhaps she had no mother to teach her, I feel bad for being all judgy. I excuse myself and it’s in the hall I meet Kelli, this month’s author. Her warm smile and ease is magnetic. We talk books. Hers is newly minted. She signs mine, “”So nice to meet you. Dreams do come true. Go Meno!” Yep, that meno–as in–menopause. So, here’s a gorgeous chick, with great manners, no panties in sight and she’s funny. And she wrote a book about surviving menopause with martinis? She’s one of ours, Dolls.

The book actually has recipes for martinis that alleviate menopause symptoms. No lie. Not only is it true–it’s backed by science–and a trained bartender. There’s stuff in these martinis to counteract hot flashes, mood swings, bloat and even one called The Screaming O to bring back that loving feeling.

Throughout the rest of the book, there’s survival tips to beat bitchiness, back fat, jelly rolls and too many sweet and salty rounds. You know who you are.

“Can you become a raging witch in zero to sixty seconds flat, leaving burned corpses in your wake? Do you wolf down every salted chip and sugar-laden brownie in sight? Does it feel like your body is betraying you? You may have become a Hormone Hostage.” The girl is, indeed, a Duchess Doll of the highest order. Reading Martinis & Menopause will leave you feeling less, well, menopausal, and more like the badass chick that’s underneath all those hormones.

Here’s the scoop:
Order the book:,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

Visit Kelli’s website here:

Tell her The Duchess sent you. Raise a glass together-Cheers!

*Hands at your side: Does your skirt go past your fingertips? If not, it’s too short. Choose to wear it anyway and you choose my wrath.


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