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It’s Rant Time Dolls…

It’s Rant Day. Duchess Dolls of a certain age join hands and finally bite back.

Twitter: From @robbysoave, who one can only assume sees himself as techno savvy and all around brilliant. “Mark Zuckerberg is now living out every young person’s worst nightmare: trying to explain how tech stuff works to the nation’s elderly.” Bahaha-I’m laughing so hard my gut aches, Robby. You’re so witty, so well informed, so very tolerant.

Evidently this brain trust forgot someone far less tech savvy than himself taught him to use a spoon and a toilet so he would stop shitting himself. That person probably also knows how to have a human conversation. But that’s absolutely trumped by Twitter mastery.

What brings on the rant? This PR/Marketing girl consulting. Read: I go into companies to help them move forward in some way–generally a way in which higher ups determine help is needed. Another brilliant, tech savvy expert questions credentials as my photoshop skills aren’t up to her measure. Because working longer than she’s been alive is worth nothing without photoshop skills matching hers.

Nope, my photoshop skills won’t match yours. Mine weren’t part of school curriculum and my teen years weren’t spent parked on a couch, head down chronicling my life for peers. Somehow the ability to increase and decrease the size of my ass on Instagram passed me by as I concentrated on reporting, editing, growing business, fundraising, bringing in clients and donors, increasing press coverage, writing, rewriting and serving client needs. But that’s just me.

To be sure, I admire your skillset and don’t hold your lack of manners, people skills or the ability to work without headphones or communicate with co-workers against you. Neither will I fault you for not knowing what to say to a large donor, wear big girl shoes to work, or speak directly to those who’ve offended you with their photoshop skills.

In truth, it must be frustrating for the younger set, my own included, to repeatedly show their elders how to meander through techno things that did not exist when our careers began. We didn’t refuse to learn them–they did not exist. I have never held those younger than this old broad responsible for lack of knowledge in using a Walkman, a tape deck, putting a pencil in a cassette to rewind or writing a proper sentence. Much like my grandmother not scoffing at my inability to pull clothes through a Mangle, shred my own cheese or create a perfect pie crust. Instead she showed me how. And didn’t believe a lack of one meant a lack of all skills.

Perhaps workers under thirty for one day should work, you know, like us dinosaurs. Things like walking across the building to talk face to face, write something on a piece of paper, use a telephone for talking, add in their heads, use a cash register, make change and spend a day listening to customer complaints would make up the day. It might also be helpful if schools taught that the CEO is not your equal, wearing adult clothing serves a purpose and a college degree doesn’t qualify you to run any company but your own. That’s the company where you get to do whatever you want.

Rant over. Can we agree I’ll overlook your aversion to closed toe shoes and you’ll photoshop everyone’s ass on Instagram. Deal?


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