Men Do’s and Don’ts…

A sweet friend sends over a photo–I think because she knows the ire it will insight. Take a look. Deep breath. Look away. Now try erasing that image from your brain. Does someone have my fan?

Just in case any of our male Dolls are wondering on the latest trend wear, here’s an outline of the do’s and don’ts of menswear. You’re welcome.

A dress, or suit, as in the Roman and Indian inspired gear shown here–No, no and no again. Here’s why:

Men don’t wear dresses. It’s an old rule but one that makes sense for a number of reasons.

Your legs aren’t shaved–and they should never be. We want to brush up against a leg in bed more manly than our own. You’d need a specific length to cover your favorite part–and that interferes with the line of any great dress. And, your favorite girl can hardly rest a hand on your thigh under the table if she has to move your damn dress out of the way. Pfft.

The dress exception is, of course, in the privacy of your own home or with the right makeup when you choose to go out and about. But the everyday guy, with an interest in grabbing up the attention of the everyday gal, doesn’t wear dresses or girl suits.

Suits, with a proper tie, Windsor knot or loosened, is the outfit to make women’s pants fall off. It’s a fact. We wonder what’s under that buttoned-up look and what we might do with that tie given the chance. Pair it with your most studious glasses and we’ll follow you anywhere.

A dress men can pull off? A kilt; in your family’s tartan, your face painted blue, on your horse. The ladies will swoon to the left and right creating a path for you and your steed, giving way for you to scoop up whichever distressed damsel fits your fancy. And generally kilts are sans panties so there’s that.

A word about shoes. Big boys wear real shoes. Tennies are not big boy shoes. Real shoes have a hard sole and a leather upper. When in doubt, choose a classic wingtip in a caramel hue–goes with everything including your jeans and those tailored dress pants you wear with a buttoned down shirt. That is ironed. If tennies or work boots are a must for work, we get it. But socially–it’s a no.

And your jeans–oh my. Nothing like a low slung pair of Levi’s. Truly. Old school. Tight enough to accent your backside but not tight enough for us to know to which side you dress. Pair those jeans with anything you like and lean up against a truck. Lean back, smile and say, “Hello ladies.” You say you have a great pair of boots to go with those jeans–my oh my. Meet you at the dive country bar dollface.

It’s not rocket science boys. Is there a doll in your life? She’ll school you. Remember when you first got together and she threw away your Nehru jackets? She’s happy to take care of that business for you again.

The payoff’s a big one. Guaranteed.

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