Business, Culture, fashion, Humor, Lifestyle, politics, Uncategorized, US

Yoga With Open-Toed Shoes…

Healthy lifestyle circles me like Australian sharks. Since I choose exercise as often as I would choose diving with sharp toothed sea creatures, this can be an irritant. With every move, or non move, I am reminded to eat right, exercise, breathe deeply, and tend to mind, body, spirit connection.

I’d like to say cancer left me lazy but the truth is the last time I ran a rattlesnake was involved. Running for one’s life evidently doesn’t count. What cancer did leave me with is an ice cream addiction. Doctors urged high fat foods for weight gain. Haagen Dazs waltzed in the door. My ass widened and every afternoon I am Pavlov’s puppy searching for a fix. Twice I’ve fallen from the wagon. Today I earn my eight day chip.

Cancer combined with ice cream creates jiggly everything and occasionally I feel my thighs touch.

Yoga is back on the menu. Twice a week paired with intense stretch class. It takes only one class to recall the frustration of the third eye search and dragon breathing. I accomplish neither in my latest foray.

“Still your mind,” instructs Tiny Lithe J, our instructor. “Deep breath and deep exhale.”

Deep breath in and a roll about my midsection shows itself. It appears for all to see as I’m bent pretzel fashion and folded as far as a body can without actually breaking in two. Deep breath out doesn’t. Pfft.

Informing Tiny Lithe J the intention is tightening, I offer arm jiggle as a prop. She appears nonplussed but given her shape, I imagine her disgust and wonder at my lack of sleeves. Too bad I don’t spend my days on the House floor where I could cover them up. My secret would be safe within the halls Paul Ryan manages.

BTW ladies we’ve elected, wear sleeves and closed toe shoes in the hallowed halls of our legislative branch. It’s not an affront to feminism. It’s a dress code. Toss on a jacket and change out your shoes before you go down the hall. In your office, don your flip flops, halter top and put curlers in your hair. Your constituents elected you–they’ll love that right?

I hate exercise as much as you hate rule following but we do what we must, non? If I can work to keep arm jiggle from knocking out whomever might be next to me when I’m telling a great story; you can show respect for the place that represents our freedom.

Blame it on the exercise. Rants bubble to the surface with every third eye breath. The mind wanders.

DC has a reputation for being less than fashion forward. Some advice: open toed shoes are so out. Girls: There’s no reason to argue for the right to wear. Don’t embarrass yourselves. Grown up girls don’t wear open toed shoes to work.

If you need further shoe tutelage, message me. Always happy to help a doll with footwear.


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