The ego of man is a marvel. It’s not a slam to men, truly. I wish I had the ability to walk down the street, gut hanging over my belt and a comb over knowing I look good. There are wonderful men to be sure. Adorable ones we can’t resist. But even the good ones call their egos “friend.”
Married twenty-seven years to one of the good ones, I can attest he felt little anguish over his expanding belly or graying hair. He would never have lost sleep over whether he was still attractive to me or whether a younger, more muscled model might catch my eye. Men, just generally, feel pretty good about
themselves. Kind of in the way Lena Dunham thinks we want to see her naked. No, Lena, its not that you’re not in shape—it’s that you made your point about three thousand nakeds ago. Enough already.
The Norwegian and his friends never sat around discussing the size of their asses or how to eliminate wrinkles. They didn’t throw Botox parties or believe their faces needed surgery to compete with the younger guys at work. And they certainly didn’t believe they needed surgically enhanced, well, not boobs, in order to attract a mate. Some have the extraordinary ability to feel the same concerning bad behavior.
Anthony the Weiner, in the documentary Weiner does not feel he did all that much wrong. He appears truly baffled that, as a public man, his private life is not private. Last time I checked, dicks on the Internet are not private. According to Carlos Danger, it is private and if you’d just listen to his other attributes, all would be excused.
As humans we naturally hope for second chances—to not be judged only by our mistakes. But when our mistakes involve nakedness—male or female—attention is garnered. Sometimes not the kind we’re after. Who knew? There’s also that thing about third, fourth and fifth chances. And wives who’ve had enough.
As Weiner blusters along through his mayoral campaign, one feels almost sorry for his spectacular lack of self-awareness or examination. Or embarrassment. His mom is a part of the campaign for Pete’s sake. She can’t be the only human in the United States who doesn’t know you show your penis to strangers and then tell New Yorkers you have the judgment needed to lead their city.
It is indeed a sad story when a man loses everything—wife, career and reputation for something as silly as a compulsion to share his privates with the world. A word of advice guys? Just to save you from the same fate. We never, ever sit around with our girlfriends and wish for someone to send us a dick pick. That, and an overinflated ago, never get the girl.
Trust us.
The Duchess Diaries 