Well, well, well. For all their bravado, it seems our boys are a little embarrassed by sex toys as well. For those not up to speed, about a month ago The Fixer, my business, personal and all things betterment advisor gave me exercises to eject me full force from the box. One of those things was a visit to the sex shop.
After my jaunt, I reported back on all I saw, but evidently forgot my male audience and have yet to hear the end of it. The subject reared it ugly head again yesterday as a pal sent a little gem via internet. It’s a laugh out loud video, brought to us by our good friends at buzzfeed, “Men Try Sex Toys For The First Time.” I’ll share the link, no fear, but first you must read to the end!
Relax, sisterhood. Turns out, they are every bit as red-faced as we. They are, however, more up front with their commentary.
“It’s like a test that I’ve been preparing my whole life for.”
One guy believes there is little need for help. “I can bump into a table and have an orgasm.” How special the woman in his life must feel.
But one dude summaries the truth. “Dicks aren’t complicated.”
Basically, the film is a before and after. The guys are interviewed before they’ve become acquainted with the Cobra Libre II, a sort of male vibrator, as far as I can tell; The Fleshlight, which Contractor Girl and myself encountered during our visit. It’s basically a vagina in a flashlight. Evidently there’s times a guy needs to pull some help from his tool box in the middle of the day. Who knew? There is also the Autoblow 2, an oral sex robot. Hmmm. Or should I say hum?
“I really have to put my dick in this?” questions one cutie. Another offers: “This is why theres a stigma, ‘cuz left to our own devices this the shit we will do.” Touche my friend. Touche. Thank your mother for that conscience.
And then we revisit 24 hours later.
“I’m going to be thinking about this the rest of my life.”
“I feel the need to go to church.”
Another finds the experience humiliating and yet another brands it awesome. And yet another proclaims, “I don’t know that I’m a feminist anymore.”
But our best guy is the one most truthful. “I could see using this when I’m bored watching football.” And doesn’t that just sum it up in one sentence?
Oh, you want to view the hilarity? Watch it here. You’re welcome.