Steamier, Saucier and More Red Roomier…

8:44 PM… Seventeen Days…

The second trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey made its debut. It’s steamier, saucier and more red roomier than the fifty shadesfirst. Watch online and the follow up is Jamie Dornan telling fans there will be no package view as that would be “gross.” Hmm. Christian with a whip but only imagined enforcement?

Jury’s out on how the lady folk will react to that. Must have been filmed in a multitude of ways as earlier news claimed Jamie had no problem with full frontal. No matter. It’s not like that’s the prettiest part of the male form, especially given Jamie’s abs. Filming wrapped awhile ago. Word is there is some reworking as Jamie and Dakota Johnson didn’t really bring the heat.

The trailer looks pretty close to the heat of E L James’ turn at mom porn. Two things excited this girl beyond measure. Shots of the inside of Mr. Grey’s closet feature crisply ironed shirts and perfectly tailored suits arranged in exquisite order, lighted from behind. Yummy. One of the final frames features a stunning wine glass. No, it’s really that beautiful. I am imagining table settings featuring the challis as I type. The glass alone is ticket worthy. Oh, and his ties? All gazillion of them are neatly curled into drawer cubicles. Swoon.

Yes, there is a peek into the Red Room. The walls are an interesting pattern and padded. Like you would do when building a Red Room in your house. Scarves and straps are involved and our dear Anastasia does not appear frightened. Blindfolds seem to be of the everyday silky variety rich ladies in old movies don when they’ve had too much to drink and don’t wish to be disturbed.

Christian does parade in his famous jeans; the ones that cause Anastasia to “oh my” now and again. Appearances are also made by floggers and various horsehair thingamabobs. E L James claims the BDSM central to the story is alive and well. She even fans herself for emphasis.

Beyonce’s Haunted fills the background, turning the heat up a notch as well.

Didn’t read the books? You’ve got time. The film doesn’t release until Valentine’s Day. Fun facts? The book was translated into 51 languages and sold more than 100 million copies. Women purchasing rope rose by 150 percent after the book’s release. No doubt due to Mr. Grey’s visit to the hardware store. Film rights went for five million dollars. The actors describe the sex scenes as more “sexual acrobatics,” than actually sexy.

Food for thought: Researchers estimate that 5-10 percent of the population engage in BDSM activities. That’s a chunk of our neighbors.

The second trailer made its debut last night during Scandal of all things. Evidently, filmmakers wanted to make sure we were watching. The same Scandal in which Olivia reminds all us chicks: “I don’t need to be your friend to do my job brilliantly.” And our dear Mellie finally gets it on with the Vice President. Yay for Mellie. The girl deserves more than just fried chicken.

If only we could find ourselves back on the desert isle with Jake, all would be right with the world. No blindfold necessary.

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