Do You Hear The Angels Singing?…

10:16 PM

Fall fashion comes late to those living upon the sun’s surface. It is mid-October before the weather breaks enough to seriousconsider a boot, sleeve or jewel-toned cardi.

Listening to a trending fashion report while applying my outside face, the heart flutters. There are a number of interesting mentions but one is so very glorious, so sent from the heavens above, I drop to my knees and praise sweet baby Jesus the fashion gods have heard my pleas.

I believe I said amen aloud. I know I danced about my closet, stroking my coveted LBDs, letting them know they could come out to play this fall. Someone pour some Grey Goose.

Trending styles differ from what we see on the runway. Runways are filled with the glittery, the gaudy and the impossible to actually wear. If you go to the shows, take the idea not the actual dress, home. You’ll never be able to sit properly and all those feathers and funky zippers will prove a nuisance. People will point and stare and mistake you for Bjork. Trending is what happens when ladies in the know interpret what they see and strap it on their backs.

Some of what I hear should come with a primer.

Floral patterns for fall. Careful girls; unless the material is a sturdy fiber, you could end up looking like grandma hanging clothes on the line. Go for a brocade, excellent choice, paired with an opaque tight, a cardigan and a tonal shoe. Cute as a button. Don’t add much more. You want to avoid falling into school girl cuteness.

Above the knee boots continue their upward spiral, and really, who does not look good in these? Leg lengthening works on all of us dolls. Dark color, not too much space between the end of your dress or skirt and the top of the boot.

Reds. Not everyone can get away with red. Then go with wine. Have a glass while you decide which shade suits you best. Go for a darker lipstick. If you can pull it off, grab a bright red. Don’t forget the gloss. He needs to drool as you saunter by. Middle Chicken called the other day to ask if red was okay for the courtroom. If they’re going red in DC, ladies, here in Scottsdale we can paint the town!

Lace is also trending hard. Another one to proceed with caution. It can appear too babydoll if it’s white and flouncy. Sarah Jessica Parker offers photographic proof. Don’t you just love when stars have to dress themselves? Squee. For you, my dolls, go for a strong color and a stiffer lace. No one of a certain age should appear to be jaunting about in jammies. What’s next? Braless in a t-shirt at the grocery store? Why don’t you just add a curler or two? Pfft.

Vibrant hues are on the comeback trail. Brights generally cheer our faces; just make sure puce works for you. Yellows can be tricky as well. Love the color? Put it next to your face in those harsh dressing room lights–still look good? Ka-ching. It’s yours.

Western detailing. Hmmm. My guess is this is more East than the “West’s Most Western Town.” Western doesn’t really go out of style here, unless you’re me. This look is easy to overdo. Pick one, ladies. More than one and someone will look for your horse. Nobody wants that when they’re wearing a cocktail dress. One necklace, one bracelet, boots. Unless it’s a rodeo, please don’t wear a hat. It’s highly unlikely you’ll have to herd anything in the hot sun.

However, it is news of basic black and classic tailoring making its move from runway to streets that catches the breath of fashionistas. It’s enough to make a girl go on a diet. Gorgeous, perfect, sumptuous, black. Be it dress, Kate Hepburn trousers paired with a silky low cut blouse or a slinky little cocktail frock, at last the world has been righted.

I haven’t eaten for days. New black trousers had me walking about town in badass mode last Thursday. I had to fan myself. I practiced painting on a red lip and fashioning my curls ala Veronica Lake.

Femme Fatale Fall, here we come!

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