Anna And The Queen…

One of The Dolls casually drops a bomb, “Saw Anna Wintour at the Australian Open and padded shoulders are back in.” You know that sound DJ’s make when they move the vinyl back and forth? My brain did that.

A fervent search for Anna and spring runway shows reveals it’s possible. There are shoulder pads in the offerings. They are exaggerated, as most things are on the runways, and the general dictum for the rest of us is, “Proceed with caution.” A little help if you’ve got small shoulders is a good thing. A full on box cut–not so much. Not that every girl doesn’t look all powerful but small at the same time in the perfect boyfriend blazer.

As for Anna, she’s sporting a spring trend to be sure, but it’s not shoulder pads. It’s a puff sleeve. On someone as slight as her Supreme Devil-ness, it could appear to the uninitiated as a pad. Look closer, you’ll find instead just a poof. Goes with her preference for florals. On the girl’s recent travels, no one mentions that at one show, she sits next to the Queen. Two things of note. The setting: A fashion show, Anna seated front row-duh-one seat from the end. Who sits in the prime seat? Just the Queen. No biggie.

In 2017, Anna was named “Dame.” Kind of a big deal across the pond. When Queen E is escorted in, Anna stands. Good. But no curtsy. A review of rules shows the curtsy remains de rigueur in greeting the Queen. Perhaps Anna felt, this being a fashion show and all, Queen E was on her turf and a reverse curtsy was in order. As for this girl–it would be a “How low can you go” contest were the monarch my seat mate. But then I adore cotillion, napkin rings and elbow length gloves.

If only hats became an American staple. Or a foreign prince, way down in succession so his work includes only fine food, wine and smiling, were looking for an American widow to complete his very existence. Or Mikimoto held a contest to find who loves pearls the most and used that girl in their ads. Yeah–don’t even try. There is no competition. Or dressing for dinner came back en vogue. A simple curtsy to the monarch, Pfft. Bend your knees, Anna dear.

If you still have shoulder pads of yore in your closet…shame on you. Have you learned nothing from Marie Kondo? No one holds a Grace Jones jacket to her chest and glee squees. No matter how tiny your waist appears. If you must, cut out those pads and replace with tiny ones to create the edge for which you search. Even Alexis Carrington is no longer riding the large pad wave.

Instead, turn to head to toe beige, wide trousers or pencil skirt, silk blouse and pearls, pearls everywhere. They’re covering the runways. You’ll be ready to curtsy before Her Highness. Even if it’s Anna.

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