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Online Fibbers…Oh My

Seems the single Dolls are none too happy about the boys’ grievances. Not following? Last week, the boys expressed confusion as to what it is, exactly, girls want. While they didn’t care for “everything,” they did get an earful from the ladies. And the boys shot back with a list of their own.

Refresher. On the boys list: Girls that are bossy, loud, princessy, count calories, attention whores and flirty. Yikes. The girls were at the ready citing boys that don’t pay, are late, not manly enough, play too many video games and are messy eaters. Double yikes.

Dinner with the ladies on Saturday sets off another round. Did you hear the shot? Supposedly it went round the world. At least The Dale.

As dinner discussion rarely turns to boys, we all lean in a little. Generally we talk wine, fall fashion and football but one of the girls had a bee in her proverbial bonnet.

“How about short? Was he short?”

“What?” Eyebrows raise in unison.

“Guys that say they’re 6’1″ and you meet ’em and they’re 5’9″. Pfft.” She did actually “Pfft.” She’s an English major.

We nod at the asshattery. She is talking, of course, about dating of the online variety. Personally, I’d rather meet someone in the wild but I understand the economy of going through a list and a simple yes or no without all the fuss. And public politeness.

So, boys, it seems you’re not exactly truthful in your online reportage. Evidently you add a few inches to your stature. Is there a problem you’re not anticipating here? She’s going to see you. She will notice you’re not ready for the NBA. Girls are funny that way. Start off with a lie and you jump behind the eight ball before you even start.

Another Doll reports boys use pics of their younger selves. One of the ladies showed up to lunch and walked past her “date” four times. He had a walker. Said he posted so long ago he forgot to change it. “In that case, he created online dating because that pic was at least thirty years old.”

No doubt some ladies shave off a few pounds. Although our sweet dinner companion says, “I always say I’m curvy. Never skinny.” She’s far closer to thin than curvy but girls are known to see things differently in the mirror than boys. Where she sees excess, he generally sees muscle tone. Where she sees sagging mammaries, he sees a six-pack and an impressive little friend.

The worst offense: The guy trolls the restaurant to see what the girl looks like and if she doesn’t make the cut, he cruises on home. For shame.

The ladies decide I need to dip my reporter hat into the pool and report back. Do it for science so to speak. I don’t really care to meet anyone but I would be up for finding just exactly how tall 6’1″ really is. Thoughts?


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