Yes, there are boy Duchess Dolls. Every once in a while they come forward with opinions, questions and sometimes even corrections. They’re wrong, but they’re guys. You know, so we let them mansplain.
I meet some new ones. “What do women want?” They don’t like my answer, “Everything.”
Disclaimer: Every Doll is different. Boys, if we’re talking relationships, isn’t it your job to figure out what she wants, likes, needs? This takes some time and effort. Not up for it? Not ready for a relationship. Easy peasey.
The guy struggle centers on skewed dating rules, exclusivity, and the feeling that no move is the right one. Oh boys, welcome to the world of women. The truth is, the only thing she knows for sure is what she doesn’t want.
Harsh as it sounds, man up. Biggest complaint from women. You know that testosterone swimming about? It’s the thing that separates us. You need to be bigger, stronger and well, manlier. Fix a car? Swoon. Plan outings? Check. Sweep her off her feet. A must. And don’t forget to tell her she’s pretty. It’s a good starting point. Of course, you also adore her brain. And her other parts. If you’re not ready to be the man at the party, you’re not ready for a grown up party.
Little things. Stand up tall. No slouching. Take her hand. Pull her onto the dance floor. Be on time. Take the lead. Clean your car. Wear big boy clothes. Be who you would want to go out with.
Who pays? You. You still make more than she does. That full dollar you make, to her 83 cents, makes a difference over time. Besides, it’s gallant and gentlemanly. Let her pay when she insists if you’re a “thing,” whatever the hell that is. Again, if you haven’t helped define whatever it is, she doesn’t know either. She may or may not care. Confused?
How do you know your “relationship status?” Tough one. What do you want it to be? Have you told her? Have you made it clear? Do you call her? Not text, but call her? For chicks, if you haven’t talked on the phone until you fall asleep, it’s not a relationship. Do you make her a priority? Are you on time? Do you make her know how you feel? No? You’re not in a relationship. You’re in something else. And that’s great. You want a relationship? Step up your game. You don’t? Make that clear as well. If it’s been going on a while, she’s probably okay with it. But when someone does “man up,” she’ll be gone.
Talked to the single Dolls. Their complaints:
He didn’t pay. He was late. He flirts with others. Video games, messy eaters and always on his phone. Ladies if he flirts in front of you, video games are a problem and he’s addicted to his phone, you’re dating a child. Aim higher and perhaps older.
To be fair, guys have lists too. Seems they don’t care for chicks who are loud, bossy, flirty, attention whores, fake, too “princessy” and count calories. Catch 22 boys. You don’t like a fat girl but she better not eat too little. As a girl who tries not eat after 8, this one can be irritating–on both sides. Though we tolerate a beer gut better than you, be careful casting stones over anything “weighty.”
Bottom line, boys, talk to her. In a manly way. The fairytale, if you’re into that sort of thing, does exist. Just beware the love of your life might fall over dead while you’re hiking in the woods. Pfft.