Bake Your Face…

I’ve had a lifelong love affair with makeup. Lately I search for whatever will keep my slather from falling into the little lines and crevices marking the passage of time and too much smiling. A trend somehow slipped through the cracks on my face and left me behind.

Perhaps because I didn’t think the answer was on YouTube. My YouTube go to is Joe Cocker. Lately I’ve got, A Woman Loves A Man, playing over and over not just on Tube but in my brain. That, and Otis Redding, make me wonder why I didn’t run away with the band when my face was wrinkle free.

Baby Chicken talks makeup tutorials all the time. Who knew they were on YouTube? I didn’t pay much attention as her dirty little secret for looking young? Um…being 24.

So, there’s all these makeup tutorials on YouTube. The one that screams, “This will hide your fine lines. No powder crack. Perfect luminosity,” speaks directly to this girl. It’s called “baking.” Yeah–I laughed to. Here’s how it works.

You’ve done your serum, moisturizer, primer, foundation and one layer of concealer. Okay, right there, I’m missing layers. Stay with me. Next, take a heavy duty concealer, very light in tone, and make a big “V” under your eye, down the side of your nose and up part of your cheek. No kidding–paint half your face as thick as you can with concealer. Not the stick kind. The in-the-tube kind. Better if it costs a fortune.

Now pat with your beauty blender. We used to call them sponges but now they’re beauty blenders because they have a pointy egg end. And they cost 24 dollars. Blot, blot, blot until there are two ginormous triangles over your already serum-ed, moisturized, primed and foundation-ed face. Nope, you’re not done.

Take a different beauty blender and get it wet. Ring it out so it’s damp. Pour some loose powder into the cap of your Laura Mercier Translucent. It’s the standard, don’t you know. It’s only 38 dollars. Dip the wetted beauty blender in loose powder, pile it on, and press it to the concealer triangles. Over and over until where your face was light and shiny now is ghost white with powder. Now sit for 15-20 minutes. Again, I am not lying.

After 20 minutes use a fluffy brush, not used for anything else, and dust the extra powder away. You now have a flawless finish that won’t settle into creases or fine lines. All day long. It’s true. Look at the 19-year-old showing her eliminated under eye lines.

Do not try this at home. I tried for you. Whatever happened to Baby Jane comes to mind. Wrinkles came out to play that I’d never met before. The floor was covered with loose powder and my already dryish complexion could welcome tumbleweeds.

Tomorrow, as I head out to meet clients, I’ll slather on serum, moisturizer and foundation. Maybe a dot or two of concealer. And I’ll do what I’ve done every day since I was 15. I’ll add 45 coats of mascara. It’s been my go to trick for years. Eyelashes as black as my soul keep anyone from looking too closely. What wrinkles?

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