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House of Claire Returns…

Remember when your grandmother admonished, “Who cares what other people think?” Claire Underwood listened. The rest of us, well, we got trapped in the rabbit hole of mean girls, attracting boys and lipstick shades.

And Claire? What happened to her? Her dreams came true while rocking the perfect shade of lipstick. And sheath dresses. And stunning suits. And heels. You’d like to call her a bitch from pure jealousy but she wouldn’t care. Instead, shall we try emulation?

Claire returns today. Why Netflix dropped House of Cards on a Tuesday is anyone’s guess. Asshats. I blame Bloodline and its Friday drop. Two binges over a holiday weekend Netflix–have you learned nothing about your viewing public? We’re up for the challenge.

Unfortunately I’m on a Middle Chicken pinky swear that I will neither peek at previews nor poke through reviews, spoilers or spy a single dress until she returns from the workplace. Pfft. My mother crown in heaven just got another jewel.

What would we do if suddenly we awoke with not just power suits but the actual power? We’d like to think we’d do good, but would we? Really? Claire, after all, started out running an environmental nonprofit. Doesn’t get much more do-gooder than that and yet. And yet, she threatened an underling’s unborn child, “Am I really the sort of woman you want for an enemy?”

Just once in my life–give me a situation to utter those words. Although she says it in earnest menace, I would end the sentence with, “Boom.” Kinda loses it’s punch, huh?

How far would you go for success? In the days of having a live husband, a mini mansion and all the money I could spend, I would have said not very far. Not until we’ve been on the receiving side of, “Oh shit,” do we contemplate how far. We think we have “stripper” as a fallback until we remember stretch marks, bat wing reverberation and the inability to hoist ourselves up a pole with our own arms. Gym class ladies? Neither fire fighter nor stripper is in the cards.

Would you mow over your enemies? Um…Isn’t that why we have them?

Would you betray a friend? Well, if you only have a few and you keep them really close, you won’t have to. There’d be so many that fall into the “enemy” category.

Would you blackmail your spouse? Pfft. The number of times I made The Norwegian think something was his idea is staggering.

Would you sell your soul for success–isn’t that the real question facing The Underwoods? I mean, they already have, but would you? It is, after all, the over-arching theme season after season, is it not? The question remains. Would you sell your soul for success? Two things to ponder before I answer: Is it my idea of success? And…

Who’s designing the dresses?


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