A dear friend, The Divine Ms. S from the South, sends over an article, “Taking a Hot Bath Burns as Many Calories as a 30-Minute Walk, Study Says.” I didn’t finish the article before I ran another elixir for the senses and lowered myself into its warm embrace.
Once I was cozy, I explored said article. The good news: Researchers find that relaxing in the tub can be just as beneficial as a 30-minute walk. The Bad News: These jokers used men for the study. Rookies.
It means they have no measure for candle ambiance, scent intake, oil skin penetration and glow or the benefits of reading while soaking. Pfft.
Southern Living reprinted the article reminding us all that every woman, Southern or not, knows a bath and a cookie solve most of the world’s ills. If we could get the ISIS guys into a hot bath filled to the brim with cherry blossom scented bubbles, an Aloha Orchid candle and a warm Snickerdoodle, terrorism would find its end.
Perhaps the suggestion should be shared with our commander-in-chief. Can you say, “Dude, relax a little?” A warm soak might just temper his temper. He might find himself less apt to nasty twitter after a long, hot sit in tub timeout. Or perhaps his phone could accidentally drop in the suds eliminating twitter opine altogether. The flush in his cheeks would do away with the need to carrot self tan.
If they had used women for the study, they would have learned that if the bath is hot enough, a good three to five pounds can be sweated off and the sound of screaming children is leveled without the use of wine. Although a little Pinot at bath time is “tune out” at its finest. They would know that a girl’s crazy can be tamed in about twenty minutes; that a little primping goes a long way and that the world isn’t quite so heavy after a long hot soak.
They would also learn what girls already know: There is magic in the bath. Every soaking girl knows chocolates and wine consumed in magical bath waters have no calories. Books read while bathing spring to life and all seems possible with shriveled fingers and toes.
Create your concoction–scent, candles, music, books or trashy magazines. Wine, cookies, chocolates, Fireball–hell bring a burrito in there. You could use a little magic about now, non?