Wardrobe, Wardrobe, Wardrobe…

Obsession over Ryan Murphy’s latest offering, Feud, continues. Bette Davis and Joan Crawford’s Hollywood crafted back biting is delicious dish to be sure. But can we talk hats? And dresses and cigarette holders and gloves and box purses and perfectly powdered faces?

The series is set in early sixties L.A. Nobody wore it better than Hollywood. Well, our beloved Jackie. But no one else. With each viewing we are awed by wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe. The question is begged: Why did some things go out of style?

Where, exactly, do we find a coat, full length with three-quarter sleeves matching our sheath dresses? Surely having that would make us rulers of the publishing world. Onlookers would find themselves lowering giant cat eye sunglasses just to get a better look.

Don’t forget the hat. The ones featuring feathers are most delightful. Plumage never hurt anybody. Consider the peacock. Limits exist. No hats with fruit or Hedda Hopper’s offering: twin hydrangeas creating a cock-eyed mouse ear pair plopped atop her head. Let’s just go with a Kate Middleton vibe, shall we? A little fascinator can do wonders for self esteem.

Oooh, and some gloves. Soft, pliable, varied color selection, floating up the arms, a little wrinkly at the top. Just made for carrying a cigarette holder. Unclench–I’d never smoke it. Just hold it and pose–hat, coat, dress–swoon worthy.

A peek into early 60’s fashion reminds us of our Mad Men obsession harkening us back all over again. Can I get a hallelujah for a thigh-covering one piece, a dress with an inset bias band making our waists positively tiny, teased hair with ornaments and brooches to die? Oh–you’re a girl of the late sixties, flowy, flowery and boho? Hmmm. How nice for you dear.

The lowered cowl gracing the top of a straight dress paired with heels is only made better with–you guessed it–pearls to rest on our collarbones. They are, after all, one thing that doesn’t sag. Yours are perfection –show em off. And, as every girl knows, pearls brighten every facial tone. Glow while you rule the world.

I can hear you wailing that fashion is a matter of choice, that you prefer not to be cinched and forced into a heel, that you have to feel comfy. Your choice.

You might want to keep in mind: Sweat pant clad women rarely make history. Or pose with elongated cigarette holders.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s