Rape accuser and self-appointed feminist town crier Lena Dunham must believe that we believe men are inherently violent. Is there another explanation for her efforts to destroy a man’s life for laughs and book sales only motivated to temper her comments when both she, and her publisher, are threatened with a lawsuit?
Many of us like men, a lot. Except the stupid ones. And the ones with bad hygiene. Other than that, we find them a lovely lot, kind of like sweet puppies we can roll around with if we so choose. Ms. Dunham and her ilk would have us believe men are born with a need to dominate and abuse women. That violence lives so close to the skin’s surface it need only be scratched to ignite, jump forth and terrorize.
I don’t know these men. Not my dead husband. Not my son. Not my father, my grandfather or any man presently in my life. In fact, in my life’s experience assholes are spread pretty evenly across both sexes. That is not to say violence against women does not exist. Quite the contrary. Crimes against women are paramount. Assigning violence where it does not exist, however, is not the answer.
Mothers of boys will tell you they are generally sweet, kind, gentle souls who love animals, their blankies and other children, including girls. They are not born violent, sexually deviant or aggressive. They can, however, fashion guns from bread, instinctively think camo is a worthy fashion choice, and feel the need to throw themselves from their dinner table chairs.
Just as girls, generally, will sit still to have books read to them, listen more carefully when others speak and think makeup is kind of fascinating. Girls, as mothers will attest, must be taught not to give in to a mean streak when it comes to other girls, not use words as weapons and to love their bodies regardless of size.
A video, of boys, is sweeping the Internet. The link is below. It depicts a group of little boys, ages 7-11, and their responses about a girl. What do you think of her? What do you like about her? Caress her. Don’t get your undies in a bunch. It’s Italy. Caress is a nice word, not one of sexual nature. Asshat. And then? Then they tell the boys to slap her. Slap her hard. Whaaa?
It’s a social experiment. One assumes, if the boys were to attempt a slap, the crew would step in. No need. The little boys are horrified, quizzical, taken aback. And all refuse. As mothers of little boys would bet. Boys would no sooner smack someone around without being taught to do so than would any little girl, a point missed by those criticizing the experiment and those who accept the premise that boys would hit a girl if given the opportunity.
There are moments of magic in the clip. The boys, Italian bred, have the charm and twinkle of their fathers, as any girl who’s been to Italy can attest. Italian boys, and men, are charmers all. They smile. They wink. They call you “Bella” on the street. Calm down, wolf whistle hen party.
There is something smile inducing to walking through a small, cobbled square with your husband and having a beautiful, young, non-threatening man approach and start your day with, “Bella, Bella American,” and kiss your hand. Your husband will stand flummoxed as the stranger walks away. But your day will be made. Liar—it will to.
Men, and women, learn violence. At home. At the hands of tormentors. In communities that accept it. But, we must also look at where we are good, and noble, and succeed in raising good men. Take a look here.