Parties make the world go round regardless of season or reason. But holiday parties are most festive of all. Is it the lights, the trees, the menorahs, the food, the presents? Nope. It’s the eggnog. And the wine. And the vodka. And the wisdom that comes from ingesting them all.
Have you noticed how much wiser we become when we imbibe? Not only do we become wiser, we also gain deep love for all the people at the party. Except for the chick that always bugs us just a bit. Now we hate her with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns.
So what are we most thankful for at holiday parties? Our LBD’s of course. Tuxedos for chicks. Pearls—the ultimate holiday accessory. Just the other day at Sip and Shop, I tell Baby Chicken it’s time to leave the pearl comfort zone and find some large rings for non- traditional fingers.
“That’s great,” says she.
“Ooh look at this bracelet,” say I.
“Way to jump out of your comfort zone, Mom,” she deadpans. Who could resist? The wrist decorator is triple strand, overlarge pearls, black velvet ribbon and gold. Comfort zone catapult can wait. My stocking needs this bracelet.
Holiday parties provide an excuse to dress. A floaty chiffon top, cut in arms make ours look smaller and a swirly flare makes hips positively miniscule. Everything exists to make us look tinier. That’s why the holidays always look better in black.
Create a bump it just behind your side part and appear taller. Add black tights and shoes to a black pencil skirt and elongate the bottom half. Squeee. Can we even see you little waif?
For the annual bar crawl don leggings, thigh high boots and a long sweater. You’ll be warm enough to jaunt around town but not too hot when inside. BTW—for Scottsdale hotties–take yourself to Old Town, and not the clubs.
Our bar crawl features Kelly’s, RockBar, Coach House, Loco Patron, something after that and something after that. Fun, fun, fun and no sticker shock when the bill arrives. Makes a girl wonder why we party on the north end.
For the annual see and be seen brunch, why not grab black velvet pants and a long silk something. It’ll leave more room for the delectables and plenty of stretch for champagne cocktails. Our annual brunch, hosted by a favorite Phoenix socialite, features talk of the latest in local politics and who’s who in the Phoenix zoo. Squee.
Christmas night features the blow out white elephant that spells bad behavior for someone every year. A collection of families’ who’ve been gathering for years, pick from the humongous stack, both coveted and cringe worthy. Haven’t decided what to wear. Something in the black family I think. Decisions, decisions.
I’ll think about that tomorrow. Where’s my eggnog?