Some things about women are baffling. I’m a chick and I don’t understand. Who are these women standing in front of the fridge shooting whipped cream in their mouths? For some reason, the romcom world believes this to be the solution for chicks with angst. Here’s the real deal.
Chicks I know don’t squirt whipped cream in their mouths. We can, however, eat a dozen home baked chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. No angst involved. Just because they’re yummy.
Chicks I know don’t sit around and talk about guys. We talk about more important stuff when we drink, like shoes and ruling the world.
Chicks I know don’t generally wallow after a breakup. We get pissed and conjure the best way for you to die.
Chicks I know don’t undermine other women. Generally, we applaud the success of others. Unless you cross us and then we write nasty things about you in blogs.
Chicks I know really do like clothes and shoes and a fair amount of girly stuff. This does not make us silly, frivolous or empty-headed. It makes us smart enough to recognize we live in a society that makes snap judgments based on presentation. We take advantage when we can.
Chicks I know drink like men. Or better yet, like our grandmas–who knew how to do everything better and took no shit from anyone.
Chicks I know want to fix the world be it hunger, war or the needs of children. Don’t ever underestimate what a group of women can do, especially if cocktails are involved.
Chicks I know get the job done. We know we can finish that shit in 20 minutes while the committee would take three weeks and four meetings. Pfft.
Chicks I know scrub toilets, kitchen floors and clean the cat box. ‘Cuz we know the money saved on a maid is better off in our shoe closets.
That is all.