Can we make taking to the bed a thing outside of the South? I feel the need for some time to wallow, sigh deeply, eat, and have malaise overtake me until it passes and I emerge as my engaging, perky self again. While it’s generally reserved for the girls of the Southern variety, I want my own. And you should too.
Midwestern girls’ mothers would have made us wash another floor, vacuum the front room and wash a few more dishes if we suggested such foolishness. Can’t you hear it?
“Take to the bed? What is that?”
“You know, I’m not really feeling myself, so I need some time, a break, just to rest and get better.”
“Are you sick?”
“No.”
“I’ll give you something to make you feel more like yourself–go polish the silver.”
My mother would have put up with taking to the bed for about 2.2 seconds. After all, in the Bible Belt, cleanliness is next to godliness, and lazy is as lazy does. Midwestern girls never saw the bed unless it was dark and the sheets were freshly washed. Wallowing? Pfft.
But doesn’t it sound just heavenly?
I’m a little sad. Take to the bed.
My high school boyfriend broke my tender heart. Take to the bed.
I don’t wanna make dinner. Take to the bed.
Confused? Taking to the bed is an old Southern or Appalachian phrase for hiding under the blankets to escape work, stress, or just about anything else that ails you. But you’re not sick. Kinda like a way of announcing, “That’s it. I’m done. I’m at the end of my tether. I am takin’ to the bed.”
Evidently, you stay there for a few days, and everyone has to focus on you–how they can help, whether they should just leave you be, or maybe bring you Chompie’s soup and a bagel on a tray. ‘Cuz, life is just hard. Sounds perfect, non?
Those of us who didn’t grow up Southern, frilly, and delicate aren’t acquainted with such a thing. Besides, now that we live alone, who would know? Does it not lose something if you’re doing it alone with your cat?
Skittish Tabby would count it a great day, crawl onto the pillow, and sleep the day away. Netflix in bed would be okay too. Shall we give it a try anyway?
Someone at work is a bit snippy? “I have to leave now. I’m taking to the bed.”
Friend hurt your feelings? “I’m takin’ to the bed.”
I hate grocery shopping. “I’m taking to the bed.”
Somehow it loses its luster if there’s no one around to say, “Oh no, Darlin’, Whatever is the matter?”
Another thought. Unless you are a powerhouse the majority of the time, taking to the bed might just seem like normal behavior, so you may want to be careful about when to pull it from your pocket. As for this girl, it’s Saturday; I’m trying to get everything done before the Bama game. I’ll have to schedule it.
