Havisham Days are upon us. There have been moments, evenings, commercials and Instagram videos that have reduced us–myself and Skittish Tabby–to tears in the name of grief.
For the uninitiated, my husband, The Norwegian, dropped dead deep in the woods over the 4th of July weekend. It’s been years. After that, however, Independence Day took on a twisted meaning. Despair gave me Havisham Days.
Unable to get through the celebration each year, we-myself and Skittish Tabby–renamed the holiday Havisham Days. You know, after the Dickens character who wanders a dilapidated mansion in her wedding dress for life’s remainder.
That is until she inadvertantly lights herself on fire relieving her grief-fueled misery at losing the love of her life. Hers left her at the altar. Mine dropped dead of a heart attack while smiling and waving at me on a hiking trail with our friends.
Get out the wedding dress, wander the halls, snot-dripping, woe is me at full tilt, non? A change in plan enters the 3 a.m. rumination hour. Yes, I will still wander the tiny hallways of my condo, clutching Skittish Tabby, wiping snot, and cursing circumstance. But, perhaps, we could examine why those who cannot seem to tame grief suffer so.
Just a theory, but is it possible, despite their sarcasm, that these people loved so deeply they cannot make the leap to whole again?
Why not swathe Havisham in the words of those who’ve penned deep love? Quotes to carry the heart so to speak. By day’s end, perhaps we will be grateful to have loved so deeply, non?
“You do not love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde
“I imagine you in every empty seat I sit beside.” Chloe Frayne
“Collapse into me. Just once. I promise you’ll never have to fall again.” Perry Poetry
“Missing you comes in waves. Tonight I’m drowning.” Unknown
“If I were to kiss you and then go to Hell I would. So then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without ever entering it.” Shakespeare
“My heart talks about nothing but you.” Albert Camus
“She knew one hundred things about him. But when he kissed her she could not remember her own name.” Michelle Hodkin
“The stars twinkled in his eyes, and the sun itself warmed his smile. I knew I might burn but I had to inch a little closer.” The Dreamer
“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.” F. Scott Fitzgerald
“A sea of whiskey couldn’t intoxicate me as much as a drop of you.” J.S. Parker
“He whispered he loved me and the storm fell silent.” Jenn Satsune
For all the girlies submerged in whatever brand of grief you carry, please remember:
“And when I turned to face grief, I saw that it was just love in a heavy coat.” Shannon Berry.
Pull your summer wrap a little closer. Here’s a handkerchief.
Oh, Duchess, I have shared this with a few, and shall print out and retain the quotes……healthy healing takes forever…………………………..xxxoooo
Have you ever listened to Anderson Copper’s podcast, All There is? The stories will tear your heart to shreds, but hearing how people overcame or just learned to co exist w/ grief inspires me to put one foot in front of the other when feelings get too big.