What Did You Learn Today?…

Things learned recently.

The sock height debate that started in 2024 is playing Whack-A-Mole. Two types of socks: crew and ankle. Millennials believe in ankle socks. They, of the skinny jean generation, have an affinity for full ankle display. Gen Z believes ankle socks are for old people, and crew socks make a fashion statement. No word on the GenXers or Boomers; evidently, they wear whatever the hell they want. And for those of us who have mastered the heel, there’s not a sock in sight. Pfft.

Did you know that on social media, hockey is the Boy Aquarium? Think about it. Pre-game warmups (oh my), drop your gloves and throw a punch when someone touches the goalie, the hair. These men all have the same haircut, a snack in itself when they remove their helmets and toss it about. I ask Oldest Chicken if he knows girls call it Boy Aquarium. He smirks at Baby Pea (his other half). Then I remember why I know so much about hockey. Oldest Chicken started playing when he was three, played through high school and college. Suddenly, I’m very, very embarrassed.

Looking at recipes–I know, WTH? I’m trying to become responsible and eat at home. Buzzfeed has some shocking food facts, including this one: Walmart sells a 58-cent burrito that has its own Reddit page. It’s called Tina’s Red Hot Beef Burrito. People share how they smother it, cook it, deep fry it, and air fry it. I know we’re all pinching pennies, but like a chair on the side of the road, a 58-cent burrito is not coming home with me.

For the first time in a minute, Bravo has presented us with new Housewife fare: The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Observations abound. Did you know that in Rhode Island, they talk with that Jersey accent that sounds like they just tied an anvil around someone and threw them in the river? For some reason, I thought Rhode Island was filled with intellectuals, professors wearing cardigans, and the Gilded Age mansions of Newport. Instead, there are chicks touting marriage that is not closed to the public, boyfriends that spend half the year with another girlfriend, and one husband and wife who discovered they were related after they got married. Another is victorious in stealing her sister’s boyfriend and marrying him. A juicy season, yes. But will we ever think of Rhode Island the same again? Nope.

Book lovers. Freida McFadden came out with her real-life name and took off the hideous wig. Don’t know Freida? Freida McFadden is best known for The Housemaid, now a movie. She has oodles of books, snapped up for their easy-to-read-ness and surprising twists. We knew she was using a pen name because she’s really a brain doctor. She had nothing to do, so she wrote 500 books in her spare time. Are you ashamed of your level of slovenliness, or is it just me? She quit doctoring and is now full-time-authoring. She’ll continue as Freida. She removed the wig, her only disguise. Not sure that was the best move. Either way, we love her and will continue to fund her multi-best-seller life.

Best for last. Before American Horror Story got so graphic, bloody, gross, and nonsensical, there was a season called Coven. Yes, the one with Stevie Nicks. The girls, including Madam Jessica, The Supreme, are returning for a sequel. Ryan Murphy, don’t you dare ruin this with your gore and guts. The best scares come from imagination. That’s where you’ve lost everyone. Make us once again want to travel to NOLA, take a spot at Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, dance around a piano with Stevie, and scream out fashion brands upon our burning at the stake.

It was in 2014 when I first instructed my phone to refer to me as “The Supreme”. To say I’m excited… an understatement.