Stupid Money, Stupid Moves…

With female advancement like this, who needs Title IX? We saw recently that women with stupid money can act as foolishly as men with stupid money, non? While we’re all for following your dreams, can we agree we shouldn’t follow the examples of billionaires who leave their wives for bimbos and create spacesuits that exploit our curves?

Here’s a thought: If you wouldn’t do what the guy says if he were poor, you probably shouldn’t do it because he’s rich. Enter Jeff Bezos, the hobgoblin.

This time, Bezos convinced some women to go in on the stupid with him. The excuse is that he dreamed of space travel as a child and thought if we colonize we could save the earth. So he took his money, built a phallic rocket and emitted harmful nitrogen oxide gases and created possible ozone layer depletion. But, hey, we got to see girls in tight spacesuits unzip the top and show us their breasts.

We already know that’s important to him and his fiancee. After all, she hoisted the girls front row and center at the inauguration. Fellow hobgoblin Zuckerberg couldn’t help but sneak a peek. Word is, she designed the space suits. Of course she did. Without boobage there is no story. Have you seen a photo of her before all the surgery? Beautful woman. What happened Lauren? Who hurt you?

Word has it Gayle King is upset and insulted that people aren’t taking the 11-minute flight seriously. After all, she compared herself to Shepard. You know the guy who actually got out of the capsule and walked around. On the moon? Not just the tip, Gayle. Seems all that time spent in the company of Oprah’s money may have gone to her head.

And poor Katy Perry. She’s baffled as to what she did wrong. Opening the door before Bezos could pretend to unseal it with his special twisty key and kissing the ground might be a start. Spreading the narrative that you’ve somehow made a difference for women in the world? You mean the single mothers? The poor ones? The ones without jobs? The ones actually trying to create scientific breakthroughs?

Ladies, it’s the hubris we find so distasteful in men. It’s the lack of self-reflection. It’s the “What are you doing with all that money?” We had more faith in your core. That perhaps there actually was more there than a bazillion-dollar joy ride. Which, by the way, had you branded it thus, we would have said, “Hmm. Your money. Do what you want.”

Instead, while the average woman worries over feeding children, putting gas in the car to go to work, and balancing a family, bazillionaire women are lecturing us about the unfairness of being criticized for doing something stupid publicly. But, hey, the Kardashians were there when you landed. And they brought a gift.

Enough said.