Let’s Talk Makeup…

A makeup conversation. The kind you put on your face not the kind after a breakup.

She: “You want to create a natural look, a look like you’re not wearing any makeup at all.”

Me: “Why?”

She: “What do you mean why?”

Me: “If my natural face was so lovely, why would I wear any makeup at all? My natural face is not what I’m striving for.”

She: (getting a little flustered) “It’s a natural look. A beachy vibe. Like you just look that way.”

Me: “But I’m not a natural, beachy kind of girl. When I go to the beach, my hair frizzes two sizes bigger than my head. And salt air dries me out.”

She: (Really frustrated now) “So, what would you prefer?”

Me: “I don’t really do trends. And the natural thing is trending right now. I’m more of a create a flawless, poreless face with mascara as dark as my cold, shriveled heart.”

She: “But that will make you look older.”

Me: “I am older.”

I follow directions. No lower liner, lighten the smoky eye into non-existence, move blush from apple to just above the contour. I refuse to use less mascara. If I don’t have two black holes in my face, how will anyone know it’s me? I admire my handiwork and add a smidge more blush.

I stand by my belief that the no foundation look is for the young because their skin is still flawless. The world hasn’t beaten up their faces yet. They have no lines from casting disapproving mother looks at their children. They haven’t earned the permanent crevices one acquires from keeping your mouth tightly shut when idiotic coworkers speak. They also have yet to garner their WTF lines, the two that join together between the eyebrows just for fun to torture us.

On the other hand, they don’t have the laugh lines of a lifetime, the squint lines that come from too many smiles`or the tiny lines around their lips that come from kissing adorable babies.

So, us old gals may try your trends but we always go back to what we know. And that tends to be what works best for us, with or without the approval of others. After all, our legs do tell us when shorts are a no. So, if you see the jiggle we’ve made a choice.

When what to my wondering eyes does appear? Cosmopolitan, in the grocery store, the mag that taught me all things makeup, sex, and the zodiac in my youth. I laugh aloud as the headline screams, “The smoky eye is back.”

And there you have it, girls. Stick around long enough and you always get your way.