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Chrismukkah It is…

We hear it started in The OC. In our abode it’s happening because Middle Chicken married Lawyer Boy, who’s half Jewish and Baby Chicken’s Southern Boy is much more Jewish. In our Catholic household, we couldn’t care less what you are as long as there’s wine. Fortunately, both Christmas and Hannukah involve fermented grapes. Although I don’t know Manischewitz will make an appearance. I hear it’s no Pinto Noir.

It’s Chrismukkah–a co-mingling of Christmas and Hannukah. Created in the early 2000s by Seth Cohen of The OC fame. Anyone who’s experienced teen girls experienced The OC. New Yorker Seth felt out of place amongst his OC non-Jews and called for a joint celebration, baptizing it Chrismukkah. The tradition continues here in The Dale.

Lucky for us, Hannukah falls over Christmas this year, so our candle lighting will be right on target. Blue ornaments have been added to the tree’s collection. A menorah finds itself surrounded by boughs, including shiny, sparkly fruits covered in glitter. Who could resist?

Hours are spent learning the meaning, and the order, of the candle lighting. Who doesn’t love a holiday featuring candles? Are scented ones allowed? The prayers are copied but I admit to difficulty with guttural prowess so for this premier year, they’ll be in English. Perhaps in years next, Southern Boy will school us in proper pronunciation. Lawyer Boy claims ignorance.

Lawyer Boy will be here for the birth of Baby Jesus for the first time. Poor boy will have to endure the singing, paper crackers and jokes that make up our extended family and friends’ Christmas Eve celebration. The new guy has a special part. It’s a secret. The Goddess will wrap pickles in cream cheese and ham for a festive treat. Chocolate dipped potato chips, an Upper Midwest specialty, might make an appearance. There’s also a brand new dreidel.

We kickoff with the Bar Crawl, a thirty-plus people movement, through Old Town Scottsdale, starting at Kelly’s and ending who knows where. Who adds questionable behavior to Santa’s list so close to the day is a mystery. We’ve all taken a turn. Young compete with old in games of holiday trivia and reindeer antler ring toss. The old folks, that’s us, are vying to take back the crown this year.

Mimosas ring in the big morning with a toast to The Norwegian. A steady stream of coffee is helpful given the merriment of the Eve’s games, songs and chips. We’ll open gifts one at a time, oohing and ahhing as one should. We’ll be bedecked in our new Christmas Jams–already perched under the tree awaiting the arrival of chickens to the homestead.

It really doesn’t matter what’s under the tree or surrounding the menorah. The lights that twinkle the brightest are the ones that catch the light of laughter and the merriment of mimosas in flannel pj’s.

Clink clink. Merry merry Dolls. May all your lights burn bright.

1 thought on “Chrismukkah It is…”

  1. Pickles in cream cheese and HAM? My converted to Jewish sister would faint dead away. When she visited for 22 hours while my father laying dying in palliative care (she couldn’t even bother to stay until he passed on) she became enraged when someone (my beau) nicely paid to have pizza delivered to us hungry, grief stricken family members who didnt want to leave our patriarchs side, but had the audacity to order sausage & or canadian bacon on the pies. How dare us in our time of sadness forget that this was all about her??


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