It’s All About The Writing Dolls…

So, it’s back. Our favorite high brow not-so-secret pleasure. Big Little Lies, that is. The juicy, gasp inducing, chicks rock story revolving around five girls. Which of the Monterey Five are you? We’re all accounted for in their various personalities, non?

Are you Celeste Wright, Nicole Kidman’s perfect on the outside, kinky on the inside, almost got away battered wife? How does one grapple with still loving a man who bruised, kicked and got off on violence both in and out of your marriage? Love is a strange bedfellow. Not to mention the dubious mother-in-law.

Could you be Reese Witherspoon’s Madeline McKenzie? Does outer perfection ooze from every pour masking a chaotic home, self esteem issues and a cheating scandal? Aren’t we all filled with at least a teaspoon of Madeline’s insecurity?

You might be Shailene Woodley’s Jane Chapman who came to town with a secret. We know how that worked out. Does your free spirit disguise something dark and sad? And, please, show us how we can live in Monterey on the hourly wage from the aquarium. It’s a world class aquarium but still.

Boho Bonnie Carlson, Zoe Kravitz’ addition to the flock, encompasses all of us fish out of water. She’s hanging with the rich girls when she’d really rather be home making hemp necklaces. And look what the rich girls got her pulled into. Would have been better to avoid the ex-wife and grow veggies on the homestead.

Meryl Streep watched the first season and called her agent, “Make this happen.” You just know she did. You feel for Mary Louise as her son’s sordid life plays out in front of her eyes. But you still want to punch her. Girl’s got her snark down that’s for sure. “I don’t care for short people.” Anyone?

Leaving the rest of us yearning to be Renata. Hilarious, self-absorbed and crown worthy, Renata lives life over-the-top be it clothing, domestic help, her child’s teacher or her husband. He’s not long for Renata’s world. For those of us who’ve lost our fortunes, her screeching, “I will not not be rich,” made us spit Grey Goose dirty martini across the room and laugh so loud we scared the cats. Go ahead, give Laura Dern all the Emmys. No one else is worthy.

So the question is, whose problems would you trade for? You know that old story: If you throw everyone’s problems into a pile, we’ll still pull out our own. Would you trade? For a manse in Monterey? For all that money? For a life perfect on the outside? For private school? For clothes and nails and perfect footwear?

For the shoes, probably. Although I can say Renata’s bellowing, “I will not not be rich,” is right up there with AHS’s Myrtle screaming, “Balenciaga” while burning at the stake.

It’s always about the writing dolls.

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