New Year, New Manners…

New Year, New Manners? Etiquette may not top the list but does yours require resolution? Think it’s not important? Oh poor thing. You may be the town troglodyte and not even know it. Here’s some tips to get you through the basics.

When leaving home, no one wants to be “that” person? Cutting in line, stealing a parking spot, making a fuss, creating a scene, spitting and changing diapers in public top the list of annoyances. Ask anyone. Do you need a day back in kindergarten to remember not to butt the line, be nice and use the bathroom? C’mon–these are easy ones, non?

Cell phones make people crazy, especially those with manners. Out in the world, remember we can hear you. Speak softly, or better yet, excuse yourself to a less people-ly area. Keep private matters to yourself. Or put the phone on speaker so we can all hear. Your novelty ring generally isn’t funny or cute. Just sayin’. As for ear pieces–can you make those more visible? Answering strangers is embarrassing. Your lack of etiquette shouldn’t make me uncomfortable, especially in the ladies. Gabbing in the stall? For shame.

Traveling? Please stop dressing like a slob. I wonder if you’ve showered and don’t want to sit near you. Say hello and take your seat Chatty Cathy. If seat mates want to chat, they’ll let you know. In the case of sleepers, workers and readers, they don’t. Take an inventory of yourself. Deodorant? Clean hair? Brushed teeth? A bag that will never fit in that overhead bin? Take your tacky self home and take care of that business.

The workplace is tough. Chances are you spend the majority of your time there. It’s likely there’s a chick you don’t like, someone who microwaves smelly food and a millenial who knows everything. As for meetings: Show up on time, turn off your phone, don’t dominate the conversation and listen to others. Ladies–mastery of not being intimidated and not posing statements as questions helps immensely. Don’t invite mansplaining or the judgment of the chick who knows everything because she’s twenty-five and life has served her so many lessons.

In your dating life, Dolls, it’s a three-ring circus out there. He pays, but be prepared, just in case he doesn’t. Don’t make a fuss, just don’t go out with him again. Easy peasy. You have some responsibility too. Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don’t pick the most expensive restaurant. Let him talk. Be interested. Dress nicely, even if he does’t. Don’t drink too much and be on time. Boys need lots of help meandering the world. Not fair, but true. Don’t play games with him. Be honest. Don’t talk marriage and kids–you’ll scare the poor lad. A prepared girl also knows how to end a date. With a push out the door if need be.

Etiquette makes the world simpler, easier to navigate. And, really, who doesn’t like to feel superior when that chick who knows everything chews with her mouth open? Etiquette 1-Troglodyte 0.


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