Long about June or July, I blinked and missed a major “thing.” Ariana Grande tweeted that Pete Davidson has a big…you know. Not that anyone cares about the ramblings of a bratty, self-important donut vandal. It did, though, spawn an addition to the lexicon. I am schooled by Chickens of various ages nodding in unison after one utters, “He’s got major BDE.”
“Wait,” stammer I. “What’s BDE?” The under 30 crowd looks to me and another old broad, astonished. We smile at each other, knowing it must be good.
“Um…” begins Baby Chicken. She hesitates. “Okay, I’m just gonna tell you.”
“Please do.” Color my curiosity piqued.
“It means Big Dick Energy. BDE. Get it?”
“I do.” I think.
She, and fellow Chickens, explain BDE is the stuff of Pete Davidson. Yeah the guy who made fun of a war vet’s eye patch. I 
disagree noting that being an asshole can’t be what I imagine BDE to be. They also cite a number of other young guys. Some I know, some I don’t.
At the root of it, BDE is the confidence some men have that you can’t put your finger on–the je ne sais quoi that comes along with a larger than average appendage. Research reveals one does not have to have a swinger in order to have the swagger. For guys–they just have to think they do. Of course they do. This girl is betting it’s rare for an everyday male to possess BDE without an actual BD but given the egos of men, who knows.
Supposedly, you can’t buy it or fake it. There are also chicks exuding BDE. Like Rhianna and Cher. And Cate Blanchett. Okay. I’m getting the hang of it now.
I offer the crowd some contemporaries from the older set. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. Although those two, having shared their goods in various movies, are actually the real deal so they have reason, non? But think Cary Grant, John Slattery, John Corbett, Denzel Washington and Idris Elba. And Michael Douglas. And DeNiro. It’s not necessarily handsome. It’s not cocky–it’s a low key confidence and comfort in oneself. Is it coincidence they all look fab in a suit and tie? I think not.
It’s the guy that doesn’t ask you to dance, but pulls you from your chair and in close. Even a bit too close. It’s the guy unfazed walking down the street with flowers. He’ll carry your bags, hold your hand and kiss you like he means it. He’s in control but not bossy. He won’t whine that you, well, he won’t whine. He’s low key but he’s not quiet. He’s self-assured but never arrogant. You’ll never see him overcompensate. Bottom line–he’s got it or he doesn’t.
He’s not a BDE candidate if he gets pass out drunk, brags, doesn’t know how or what to order in a restaurant, doesn’t pay attention to his date, takes over another man’s grill, sends dic pics or makes tiny penis jokes.
This new information leads us to just one question. Where does one find one of these in the wild?
The Duchess Diaries 
I found one – 14 years ago. Goes by the name of Steve.
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