We’ve Heard Everything Now…

From the Now I’ve Heard Everything File…

Friday night a family was peed on at a Metallica concert. Happened right here in Arizona. Not in The Dale, goodness no, but in the state and that is embarrassing enough. Thank Sweet Baby Jesus the guy is from New Mexico and we don’t have to claim him as one of our own.

The story appears to be true. When police arrested the guy he had in his possession tickets to the seats right behind the drenched family. According to the unnamed family members, they felt warm liquid ooze over their backs and legs. When they turned around they discovered they were being relieved upon. No word on what was said after they shook their heads in disbelief. What, exactly, is it one says when faced with someone peeing on them?

“Ew?’ seems an understatement.

The dad asked the guy, “Dude, what the heck are you doin’ peeing all over my family?” I assume it was something like that. He told police when he turned around he saw the man, penis out for all to see, saying, “Aaaaah.” Dad told police the guy just shrugged.

That’s hammered even for a Metallica concert, non? This girl would not know, as plunking down hard earned cash for Metallica would not enter my wheelhouse. Given the general dress code, one would just assume. Un-bunch your panties Metallica fans. There are those of us known to be out of hand when Adele takes the stage. Or Bama plays. Or Meat Loaf makes another pass through Phoenix. Or Cher slates another farewell tour. We’re all guilty. It’s just more unlikely to be pissed upon at an Adele gathering than that of a metal band. Just sayin’.

There was little surprise when it was reported the penile offender was “heavily intoxicated” when cops caught up to him. Ya’ think?

Still no word on why a mom and a dad took a ten-year-old to see Metallica, but to each his own. I don’t think I know any ten-year-old metal heads but I could be wrong. Maybe next time, they’ll check Vegas odds for likelihood of being peed on before they book tickets.

Stranger things…

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