Fifty Shades of…

I’d drunk dial him.

Saw steely Christian in all his low-slung jean glory, grey eyes, hardened composure and closet to die for. Sighs elicited more than once. There may even have been a cosmic fashion shift. Suits have always made this girl’s pants fall off. Missing the reference? Check out country boy Joe Nichols—here’s the link. You’re welcome. Christian’s jeans point to a new fashion forecast—old-fashioned, worn-in jeans that look like they were made for a man. Oh, and nothing else. Mind blown.

duchess diaries, jeans

Fifty Shades of Grey is not masterpiece cinema. Those who read the books know the story isn’t strong enough to pull that off. Those shocked the movie is less than Oscar worthy—lighten up. One of the dolls sends over a morsel–that of a horrified mother sure Christian will teach her boys to be barbarians in the bedroom. Truth mom? The only thing that will teach your son to be anything less than a kind and generous man in bed is what goes on in your own home. Not a movie or a book. Besides, she writes for Fox news and starts with, “I haven’t read the books, but.” Pfft.

Fifty Shades is a story—nothing more. A combination of words that sometimes shocks, titillates, escalates, and scintillates leaves us reaching for our damn fans or other toys. The real lesson we can actually learn from Fifty Shades—things, thoughts, ideas, can become worldwide phenomena. A series of poorly written books can change the way we look at sex? What could we do if we harness that power for good?

What if we got that riled up over something important? Beheadings? World war? Feeding hungry children? Helping others? Making a difference? Stopping pain? Eliminating judgment? Take that buzz, that squee-worthy gossip that made a sex story fly around the world and use it for good. How about, if for the remainder of the month, two weeks, we celebrate Fifty Shades of Great by thanking, honoring, loving those who affect our lives every day? Turn the naughty into nice, non?

Where is all this kindness coming from? News of the serious sort is delivered to The Duchess’ doorstep. The kind of news to stop a girl in her tracks wondering: WTF? Reports spread fast in the Dale. In no time I am surrounded by dolls of all stripes. Even The Fixer attempts a hug. We laugh together at the feeble attempt and agree to never try that shit again.

People surrounding me gets me thinking. How is it we do not find it extraordinary what people do for others every day? Who has changed your life while you were sleeping? Who has touched your life in some way?

For two weeks, my dolls, we can do this. I will be unleashing my flying monkeys of gratitude and who knows who will be hit with arrows. You do likewise. Send in your thoughts about those who lift you, carry you, make you smile, change your life and add to the world. We’ll post your shout outs—signed or anonymous—about whomever you’d like to honor. Send to info@theduchessdiaires.com. Easy peasey.

In difficulty we so often look heavenward instead of laterally. The angels are right here. Standing right next to you. A badass girlfriend can do more with one withering look and a killer pump than a business titan can accomplish in a year. Let’s get our peeps out there front and center for all they do. Let’s make gratitude kinky famous. Fifty shades famous.

So what’s the big mystery, you say? Oh, it’s a good one. It’s salacious and gossipy and Scottsdale worthy. It’s stunning and shocking and the chicks that hate me will join hands and dance. Doesn’t change their bitch status. But those who know me, after the initial WTF, will feel the same way I do. Bring it on Bitch.

For months now, we’ve been working on publishing and tv shows and interviews; searching for something with just a little more punch. Be careful what you wish for. It’s arrived.


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