“Men invest in business,” she says. “Women, we want the business but we look for two for one deals. American marketing companies have been very successful brainwashing us to forget we intuitively know value when we see it.”
“Women are much worse afflicted by inelastic expectations than men. We believe in fairy tales. The prince will come on the white horse. We will live happily ever after. We will be this way forever. The truth is sometimes he won’t be a prince, might not have a car, a horse or any means of transportation. He might not stay. There may not be a happily ever after. It will feel like a long forever if we don’t dig out of our delusions.” Yikes.
Attitude. Men, The Fixer says, are more practical, never looking for ever after. They know the way out and have a Plan B. They invest in a second horse, possibly of a different color. Men want it now.
Her waiting list is male heavy because they don’t believe in fantasy. They want value. They invest in value. They collect value. Attitude.
We invest half, get half and lose half. This is the difference between “investing” and “spending.” Men buy expensive cars because they are better quality cars. In the end, they get more for their dollar. And feel good about it. Attitude.
Women, we will buy things that lose value the moment we leave the store. We carry the same attitude into our lives and our business. We compromise and then compromise some more. “We need remember there is a difference between collaborate and compromise.”
She notes that if she tells a man to do something because it will positively affect business; he will do it. Women argue with her.
Granted, some men aren’t up for advice from others, especially chicks. How successful are they? Do they wear shitty shoes? Are their shirts rumpled? Some are, but generally, it’s men adding monograms to their cuffs and throwing down cold hard cash on alligator belts.
What if it’s not shoes but information, marketing, client generation or just cleaning out the cobwebs to figure out what we should be doing? Why are we so averse to paying full price for something of true value to us? Is it because we are not worth it or is it because we feel we should only have it if it’s “buy one, get one free?”
She’s not done. We have to chat about my attitude. I hit the panic button over not accomplishing things quickly enough and with gobs of cash.
“You are going to stop that shitty attitude right now, for you create as you speak and what you believe becomes your reality. Be careful where your thoughts float. I can’t believe you just leaped back to the beginning,” she texts, fuming. As I worry about the future, she rages. “Don’t ever do that again. I can fix almost anything but not your personal choices. That’s on you!” My personal choice at that moment was to allow fear to creep back into my life. Attitude.
For emphasis she adds, “The most repeated phrase in The Bible is, ‘Fear not.’ 2002 times!!” She counted after someone challenged her to prove it. Of course she did. She is adamant that fear is the most destructive force. “If you go to bed with it, you are a goner.”
She doesn’t stay in bitch mode. Thank God. She’s scaring me a little. She asks if I really think business does not ebb and flow. Do I really believe it is always easy? If a client isn’t right, he or she isn’t right. Let it go. There is a reason. And it’s not a “meant to be” or “God” thing. Attitude.
She tells me to go out, meet some new people, forge new alliances and remember to bring my big, fat attitude. Maybe I’ll find some guys with great shoes and alligator belts.