Accessory Whore

Amour De Ma Vie is my bag line. My son says I created a bag line so that I could have hundreds of bags from which to choose. Duh. Not sure he’s the family brain trust.

The Norwegian thought it was a fun little business and supported it both financially and occasionally with a pat on my head. He ate his words one year when my proceeds bought all our holiday gifts. It grew and sputtered and now it’s growing again. I know you are breathlessly awaiting the PDC line about to come out–well, now you are! How does one become an international Kate Spade? Damned if I know–if I knew I’d do it. I’m hoping what’s at the core is being an accessory whore.

Accessories are lifeblood for those of us so afflicted. Without my pearls, I would have nothing to grasp when I am secretly assessing your outfit and want to disguise my judgy face. Accessories spell out exactly what is on a girl’s mind including her choice not to partake. That carefully honed “I don’t give a damn,” fashion sense speaks as loudly as your unfortunate shoe choice. Long before the statement necklace entered the scene, your choice of neckwear was making a statement. Your choice–what you swath your collar bones in can say, “I am happy, edgy and fashion forward.” Or it can just as easily say, “Yes I am a dowdy frumpster who doesn’t give a crap.” Dowdy frumpster serves no one doll. Stop it at once.

Shoes are swoon worthy. Fact. Don’t argue with me. Shoes announce your arrival, first with their sound and then their beauty and personality. Muffled thuds are not only unladylike but a solid heel never served anyone well. Take note Hillary Clinton. As if the pant suits aren’t bad enough, you have to wear sensible shoes. Pfft. The snap of a lovely pony hair stiletto or the click of a kitten heel mule signal what the lady is up for today. The stiletto signals business whether boardroom or bedroom. The kitten heeled mule signals fun and silliness matched only by the gait that must be mastered to keep these little darlings on the foot. Going below a kitten heel requires some serious thought and a flats collection a step above the ordinary. A man’s oxford sends a great message–I am above your sense of fashion and I know it. A graduated point with a pattern announces your sense of fun. And a rounded toe with a symbol ala the great Miss Tory always casts an elegant spell. Disclaimer–does anyone else find the Tory Reva ballet flat uncomfortable? Perhaps its just me and my penchant for patterned heels.

And bags and scarfs and rings and bangles and nail polish and earrings and pearls, pearls everywhere send silent messages everywhere you go including the gym and the grocery store. Mind what you’re saying girls. It’s dangerous out there. My best advise is similar to my philosophy about wine and dirty martinis–indulge. Take the plunge. Every once in a while you fall flat on your face or find yourself making out with some ruffian but when they toss you in the back of the cab, the driver will notice how amazing your gams are in those calf hair beauties sans hose.

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