"I just walked in to find your mom and my mom summoning the dead," deadpans Wordsmith Andretta to Middle Chicken. Wordsmith Andretta is the first of the non-biological chickens, making her betrayal that much deeper. The child does not remember secrets kept from her parents and she obviously forgets Middle Chicken's lack of patience for… Continue reading Summoning the Dead…
Category: Bonjour Duchess Dolls
Please Don’t Tell Them How You Found Me…
Last week, an event of the outdoor variety is handled by myself and many others to raise funds and awareness for a certain organization. I leave the name to your imagination keeping the organization immune from the lunacy. Four hundred fifty people gather in a park to dance, eat, bounce house and exchange information and… Continue reading Please Don’t Tell Them How You Found Me…
The Supreme and the iPhone
All good things come to an end; be they sex, an old love affair or a cocktail. The flip phone is no exception. At my recent birthday celebration, Oldest Chicken informs me that my days of embarrassing him in public are over. "Oh, darling," say I. "That will never happen; neither in public nor on… Continue reading The Supreme and the iPhone
The Thievery of Grief…
People ask me all the time about grief. We are a society fascinated by it; how people meander through it, how some people don't and how for some grief steals a second life; the life of the one left behind. People have lots of questions. The answers are skewed, varied and often make no sense… Continue reading The Thievery of Grief…
Old Dogs Learn New Words…
As words are my life, it is hard to stump me with new combinations or phrases. There are words I adore, some I dislike and others I simply abhor. My two worst words are the "c" word referring to women and the "P" word referring to one of her parts. I'm also bothered by the… Continue reading Old Dogs Learn New Words…
Pearls Will Save You From Wrestling in the Mud…
Taking a month off from writing does not prove good for the soul. It begins innocently enough; so, so busy. Busy bee planning decor for the wedding of a beloved niece, working two jobs and moving. The result? Crumbly, crabby, dismissive and disappointed in my usually good work ethic. And then I discover I never… Continue reading Pearls Will Save You From Wrestling in the Mud…
The Spider Web of Marriage…
In two weeks I will celebrate my thirtieth wedding anniversary. Or I would. If my husband hadn't died in the Colorado woods on a sunny day. Asshat. I have no idea how I might mark the day. A conversation with Sorority Sister does make me give it some thought. A million years ago, actually thirty,… Continue reading The Spider Web of Marriage…
The Answers Are In The Tea…
The Goddess gave the most lavish, thoughtful gift this year. She bestowed upon us the gift of tea. At The Ritz. I know, right? The Goddess, River Rafter, Sweetest G and myself gather in the divinely appointed lobby of the famous hotel for tiny sandwiches, scones and conversation. Perhaps a bit loud for the tea… Continue reading The Answers Are In The Tea…
Subservience to Bermuda Shorts and Black Socks? Pfft.
Messages come this week from the East. Seems Middle Chicken and friends are a little worked up over Candace Cameron-Bure's comments and book, released last week. The book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, espouses Candace's belief in submissiveness in marriage. Before we move further--can I point out one thing? I… Continue reading Subservience to Bermuda Shorts and Black Socks? Pfft.
The Year of the Dowager Countess…
Praise Sweet Baby Jesus' birthday the holiday season is over. Let us rejoice and be glad. If I drink one more cocktail, eat one more sweet or attend one more party until the wee hours, my brain will leak out my ear in a slow drizzle alerting me, "Enough already bitch." I'd love to say… Continue reading The Year of the Dowager Countess…
The Duchess Diaries 