They’re at it again. Seasons are changing and the twenty-somethings feel a burning need to tell the older ladies what to wear. Girls, we were fashionistas before you were born. You’ll never catch us in the grocery in sweat pants and slippers. Our messy buns are called French Twists and we never flit about the board room in sandals. Still wanna play?
There are things that distinguish us old chicks with class and grace from the rest. Call us curated. Call us distinguished. Call us anything but mainstream. Pfft.
Need a list? Here’s what you’ll find draped about our bodies, regardless of size or your attempt to shame us about jiggly arm fat, saggy parts, and whether we keep or hide the grey. Read: We don’t care.
Jewelry, statement or minimalist, up to you. We’ve collected, and been gifted by suitors, lovely pieces. I recently put my wedding and anniversary rings back on. Why? Two reasons. I don’t care whether you think I’m married or single. And they are lovely. I adored them when The Norwegian was alive. What is the point of letting them sit in a box? Classic pearls. Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. What on earth is a girl supposed to clutch in hard times?
Polished flats. If you must. Us old gals don’t believe something made of jelly is a real shoe. A proper shoe has a sole and sometimes a bow. Think Chanel ballet flats. But don’t buy those-so much money for a shoe that takes so long to break in, you’ll give up. But as any fashion forward darling knows, hair and heels–the higher they are, the closer to God. I added the heels part.
Sunglasses. A must. Find what looks good on your face and go just a tad bigger so you can hide behind them. Are you checking out a handsome gentlemen while having your lunch outside? Are you secretly judging the young businesswomen in their commuter shoes who’ve yet to master walking in heels and ruling the world? Are you looking in the window of that shop or are you admiring yourself? No one knows. As it should be.
Classic handbags. You do not have to shovel out 50K for a Birkin. Besides, they’ve become so overdone, non? That’s what you say when you’ll never have one. But you do have some nice bags. Use them. Don’t leave them collecting dust. The original Kate Spade Sam bag–we all got it when we were in our 20s. It was a big deal then. Take it out now. See what a big deal it is now. This girl got stopped three times the other day, “Is that original?” Yup. Yay me. Right now I’m sporting the pink Burberry tartan from the early 2000s. Same reaction. Who knew? While Burberry and Kate may not be akin to Balenciaga and Hermès, who wants to copy a Kardashian?
So, for you young girls trying to teach us old broads a thing or two about fashion, mind your business. We know what looks good on our bodies and we wrap it up in a silk scarf that highlights our undertone. We recognize a classic when we see it. We can run in heels, not that we ever would. We get our nails painted red, eat bread with real butter, read books without machinery and don’t have time to worry about the younger set. We’re just too fab.
The Duchess Diaries 