It wouldn’t be social season in The Dale without the Happily Ever After League Fairytale Tea. You know the one. The tables are dressed in various stories and lore, hats to match, with monies raised going to mothers with cancer. It’s a must.
The grassroots organization was started by a mom. Of course it was a mom. Lauren Daniels, Founder, got breast cancer at 35. Six months later, with a one-year-old, she said, “How can I turn this into a way to help others?” As you do when you have cancer and three small children. Pfft.
Part of the tea each year is the story of someone’s navigation through the cancer wonderland. I remember secretly thanking Sweet Baby Jesus that it wasn’t me or my family. Until it was my turn. Not only to traverse my own cancer journey but the following year to stand on stage and recount the tale. Nine years later, I was more than honored to speak to this group of amazing women again last Sunday.
When I last spoke, my feeding tube had been removed three days prior. I had completed chemo and radiation. I was working with a speech pathologist to learn to speak again. My biggest worry that day was that no one would be able to understand what I was saying.
HEAL was there throughout my visit with the Big C. My particular kind, striking men over 65 who chew tobacco made perfect sense, non? It didn’t care much for my sheath dresses and heels, my job, or my need to support my family. Those are the fears HEAL attempts to put to rest. People with cancer may fight the fight individually but we are intensely aware that we are buoyed by a community.
While cancer is a vicious visitor, it is also an extraordinary teacher. It forces us to look inward. There’s a lot of time to reflect and plan. We wonder and bargain with our higher power. If you let me live, I will accomplish this, change this, become this. It frees us to dream. It teaches us to move forward in love, kindness, and compassion.
Have I accomplished all the things I bargained for in those dark, private moments? No. Turns out, I’m not nearly as big and bad as I planned to be. But I’m working on it. I take inspiration wherever I can find it. And we’re back to, “If you are not doing what you want to do with your life, why not?”
And that’s why you fight another day. That’s why the women of HEAL decorate tables, secure auction items, wear dresses and hats, and ask for donations. The life you save may be your own.
You can donate or learn more about the work of the Happily Ever After League here.
The Duchess Diaries 