Women adore our alone time. Seems more and more the older we get. Nothing beats snuggling with a sweet kitten, taking in a Netflix murder, or the Bridgerton mirror scene on repeat–oh my!
A gal pal and I keep trying to schedule lunch or dinner. A doctor’s appointment, work, event must-dos, family obligations, and life’s roadblocks impede our path. Finally, we settle on a Saturday morning, poolside at her house.
So simple. No need to dress up. No reservations. No crowds. No phones. Just the two of us with our legs dipped in her pool solving the world’s problems. The conversation is about nothing and everything. I am updated on her life and she on mine. Though I’ve known her almost twenty years, I learn new things that day, away from the hustle and bustle of a restaurant, the noise of a bar, and the busyness of a group gathering
Was there gossip? Yup. Were there secrets? Yup. Did we talk about politics and religion? Yup. Are we still friends? Yup. More importantly, did we laugh? Yup, yup, and yup.
I never worried about what I was wearing, how fat my thighs are, or whether I would have to meet someone new and be charming. I didn’t. We spent no money. We made no plans. We just chatted.
What happened to the afternoon visit? A couple of hours just gabbing with a pal–doing nothing. We accomplished nothing. There were cheese and crackers but only ‘cuz we’re old now and thought we shouldn’t have a cocktail at ten in the morning on an empty stomach. No pomp. No charcuterie. Just talk.
Two days later, I spy on TikTok, in my alone time, an article about bringing back the afternoon visit. Southern Living, the epitome of gracious, has something to say about the afternoon visit.
“Before you think it’s too lofty of a goal to usher this social practice of yesteryear into the 21st century, remember that Nana had eight kids, two dogs, and a vegetable garden. If she could make time for a 30-minute visit with Aunt Charlene twice a month, there might be hope for us yet.”
How true. I remember times with my Granna, bored out of my head, while she chatted with this friend or that. I busied myself with dandelion crowns or cloud study. My Granna was a chatty girl and rarely did an outing go by without an extended conversation with someone. I can go a whole day and not talk to anyone but the cat. What happened?
Two weeks go by. I call my gal pal to firm up details of an upcoming event.
“Wasn’t that just the best afternoon?” says she.
“It was,” say I. “It was so easy.”
“I feel like I got to know you even better,” says she.
“Right? That should be our going out from now on. It was a perfect day.”
Who knew the key to connection is just to slow it down? Don’t plan. Don’t rush to the store or make reservations. Just throw on a comfy dress, dip your feet in the pool, and see what happens.
You may be surprised just how interesting you really are.
The Duchess Diaries 