Some do not look back on the late eighties and nineties with disdain. We have appreciation and respect for big hair, jingling bracelets, gold layered necklaces, and the elevating nature of fur–faux, of course, we’re not barbarians. Trousers were black and wide, with cinched, high waists. Versace silk blouses screamed color. Heels were high and nails were long.
Admit it, you stood in front of the mirror blow dryer in hand, bent at the waist drying your locks upside down for volume. Flipped up, ratted the crown and edges, and sprayed AquaNet until no wind, rain, or sleet of night could move the helmet atop your head. Popped in some gum and you were good to go.
Roberto Cavalli may have offered up the rage in the eighties but animal prints were first shown in the late forties by Dior and even our beloved Jackie was spotted in leopard in the sixties. The trend of the bold and confident, silk animal print paired with that wide-leg black trouser with a chain belt, heels, and hair to heaven made us untouchable. No one ruled the club or the grocery store more than those unabashedly over-the-top twenty-somethings.
“Do you always have to look like that?” asked a college beau.
“Like what?”
“That,” a wave of his hand up and down.
“Um, yeah.” Popped my gum and walked away. He didn’t last long. Only a strong man can take on an animal print woman. Enter the mob boss and the return of Mob Wife Style. It’s the rage on all the sites and, of course, the girlies are acting like it’s new. Like when Kim Kardashian claimed contouring as her invention. Pfft.
Find your black–easy since some of us never fell for the delicacy of last year’s tiny earrings, necklaces, and short nails. Paint those nails red, file them to a point, and order some Aqua Net off Amazon. Alas, there were times this girl pondered a move to the South where big hair never leaves the scene. Instead, Goddess V, the hairdresser, created long locks that include a layered crown that can rise as high as Jesus himself.
Regret. I did not save my Candie’s. Remember the slipper heels in every color to match your outfit? Nordstrom has them. Squee.
Fitted suits? For us, they never left the scene. Soft shiny silky blouses–check. Wide-leg trousers–double check. We didn’t fall for skinny jeans. High-waisted everything. Yes sir.
So taken am I with the Mob Wife fashion news, I re-watch The Sopranos for inspo. Carmella reminds me to pile hair atop my head and wallpaper everything. I admit, our first family home had the vibe. Oh my.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit, where’s my fur?
The Duchess Diaries 