Sunday morning is for coffee and political shows. Most weeks this involves swearing at the television and shaking my head. This morning’s fare sends me straight to Pinterest. Ears out for actual news and eyes on all things pinteresty. I settle on “Quotes” and find this little gem, “Most Likely and Least Likely To… Depending on Astrological Sign.”
Wasting time and drinking coffee offers such relief from the harshness of the world, non? I find a bunch of stuff about me and some interesting stuff about you as well.
For instance: Did you know Scorpios are the most likely to scare the shit out of you? No lie—it’s on Pinterest.
Leos are the least likely to win an Oscar. Don’t give up my Leo friends. Everyone is special in his or her own way
Aquarius peeps are the most stubborn. And Geminis are most likely to show the least emotion when feeling a million things.
Cancers are the clingiest. Okay go away. No canoodling here. Capricorns are the most ambitious and Taurus’ are the best liars.
Aries are never fake and Sagittarians are most likely to break a date due to being distracted by something more fun to do.
As for the Pisces dolls and myself:
We’re the second most likely to be assholes on Twitter. Check.
Most likely to get lost in the person they’ve fallen for. Check. Still in love with a dead guy.
Second most likely to have a random story to share. Okay. And make you sit down and listen.
Most likely to give you a second chance and forgive. Okay.
Most likely to sing out loud. Doing pretty good here. No word on table dancing.
On the other hand:
Evidently, we are the least likely to survive a zombie apocalypse. Well, duh, there’s no such thing. Asshat. Oooh, I should tweet that.
We are the most socially awkward. Hmmm. Depends on the day and the situation. When I’ve got a great dress and heels, nobody got nothin’ on his chick. But then I get my heel stuck in a grate and it’s all downhill from there.
Pisces are most likely to be part of the “sitting home on Friday night” squad. That’s because Shark Tank and Dateline NBC is on. Pfft.
Also, we can look innocent but actually hate your guts. Well, that’s just good manners.
Did I learn anything? Probably not. But at least I got relief from political strategies of the pool of clowns vying for the top spot. Perhaps they should consult their charts to find what they should actually be doing.
Somebody should tweet that.