Thanksgiving is a favorite. A holiday celebrating food and football? It’s the best meal of year. Alas, I am still wired into Gus-Gus so it’s a mystery what will find itself down my gullet tomorrow. Will it be stuffing? Turkey? Cranberries? Hard to say. I never really know until something is in my mouth whether it’s going to make the trip down the esophagus.
While I rail against cancer for having to learn to eat again, there are things for which I owe Cancer a big thank you. In the spirit of the holiday, I am giving thanks for all she’s done for me.
Appreciation. When cancer shows her vile face, there is no choice but fight. Through that battle, the learning curve points to appreciation. Examples? Life itself. Each day. And, paradoxically, health. When you’re always healthy, you rarely consider what it would be like to take it away.
My relationship with my bed. I believe I loved my bed before. I was wrong. I never knew how much one could adore their resting place. Even now, through recovery, when it’s time, I am overjoyed to slide into the cool jumble of covers and drift. Mornings are harder. My body rejects the thought of jumping up and facing the world. Cancer, more than once, has given me reason to stay put.
Slowing down. Cancer demands doing nothing. That makes for lots of thinking, reflection and down time. Never having been less than type A plus, it was a new experience to have no choice but to slow down and calm down. Smell the roses became a reality for this girl.
Weight Loss. If I could just grow back boobs and butt fat, I’d be all set. For a long while, my ass was the enemy. Now that she’s hit the road, I miss her and all her fatness. Hard way to lose weight? Not so much. All you do is get cancer and a feeding tube. Literally falls off as you meander along. I weigh the same now as I did in high school. Bonus.
Friends and family. There are no words. Friends came from everywhere. Children became caretakers long before they should learn that lesson. I never knew how surrounded our family is with love and kindness–or did I simply not see? Either way, I am surrounded by the best people on earth. There will never be thanks enough to express gratitude for holding me up through the last year. Blessed is an understatement.
Movies. Aaah, a lifesaver. Just when I’m convinced I’ve seen virtually everything, Middle Chicken is horrified to learn I’ve not seen The Hunger Games. Deed done—last night, we catch the first installment. The rest are on the docket for the holiday weekend.
So it seems, this girl has quite a bit to thank cancer for, most of it of the immeasurable kind. Funny, they’re all things that have been with me all along. What precious things are surrounding you every day?
Happy Thanksgiving my dolls.