What’s a cancer girl to do when she’s got a feeding tube, Wonky Speech and is known to fall asleep without warning around three in the afternoon? Certainly not go on a job interview. The subject of a second job comes up with the arrival of every hospital bill.
Laughter is the only medicine as Middle Chicken and I discuss the interview process over coffee. How many times could the poor interviewer say, “Pardon Me?” before he would just give up, smile and shake his head? You know the move. You do it every time you’re with a soft talker. Gus would surely make a mid-interview appearance as I whip out a can of food. Have to stay on schedule. And if I sip my water too quickly, perhaps I may even throw up on the table. You need to hire this girl and quick!
The situation leaves lots of thinking time in the day. The decision for today is whether to watch CNN’s The Seventies, which has the girls in this house mesmerized followed by The Astronaut’s Wives Club, which has me nostalgic for my childhood of Jell-O, potato salad, lightning bugs and big hair or catching the GOP debate, which ensures as much folly.
Not familiar? Why it’s ten of the 16 horses in the race, ready to debate. But will the debate be issues or will it be personal? If its personal, Jeb will be part of a dynasty. Trump will have too much money. Rubio will be villified for a boat. Cruz will get cut off ‘cuz he can’t say “Boo” in sixty seconds or less and Chris Christie will remind us that Catholics have sex too.
As for the rest? Huckabee has actually been in a presidential debate before. Can Walker stop pointing into the audience for just one night? Just to avoid looking goofy? Can Rand Paul overcome his Super PAC? As for John Kasich and Ben Carson: Who?
No worries how it turns out. There will be a gaggle of GOP debates and there’s the rub. The DNC announced there will be six debates, all about a month before Iowa. Whaaa?
Is it really a surprise? Queen Hillary’s peeps requested six. The DNC is so busy bedazzling her scepter and adding fur trim to her cape, they’ll agree to anything. The early inaugural coronation is in full swing.
Besides, the last thing the DNC wants is Hillary out there speaking off the cuff or answering questions willy-nilly. Public speaking on the fly is not the girl’s best skill.
The buffoonery on both sides will be in full view. Trump said just this morning, “Trump doesn’t rehearse.” So there’s that.
You see my dilemma. Do I fill my brain with the tedium of watching a bunch of men prattle on about what they think I want to hear when I already know my vote or do I put my feet up and venture back through my childhood with an updo and perfect red lipstick? You decide.