Stepping off the cancer train to peruse the news, more ridiculousness crossed The Duchess desk this morning. To keep it to myself would be a crime.
Seems those who enjoy a good grilled cheese sandwich have more sex. The news comes from The Skout, a San Fran based social networking site that polled 4,600 of its followers on their sandwich and sexual habits. Turns out 73 percent of their peeps who love grilled cheese have sex at least once a month. This widow admits to being out of practice, but once a month? Who are these people?
The study goes on to report that the figure is compared to 63 percent of those that don’t care for the All American sammy. Whatever. Whether they like grilled cheese or not, these peeps need to bump that once a month number up. More importantly, 53 percent enjoy their grilled cheese with just cheese, no tomato or other fixings, the way God intended a grilled cheese to be. There is some good news. Halleluiah.
St. George, Utah sponsored an art in the city program where various artists created statuary and erected them around the city. One artist created a five-foot tall pink stiletto. Some of the townsfolk aren’t so happy about the shoe. They say it doesn’t really fit the city vibe. But here’s the question: Utah, being a pretty conservative state overall, why would an artist erect such a tacky shoe when there are so many better choices—a stadium pump perhaps? Take a look for yourself. Hooker Heel. Pfft.
Top religious authorities in Ankard, Turkey, have okayed toilet paper. Yep, those in charge announced this week that in lieu of water, toilet paper use is now permissible in Islam. Water remains the preferred method. Bigger question? Before Islamists had this special permission, what exactly did they do if no water was available, hmmm? Either way, thanks authorities. We can rest easy now. Next time you think your government interferes too much, remember the toilet paper story.
TV Preacher, read groan, Pat Robertson told a mom that if only she would disallow her son playing soccer on Sundays, he would become mega wealthy like the owner of Chick- fil-A. His reasoning? Because the owner of Chick-fil-A refuses to cave in to peer pressure and open his restaurants on Sundays, the Lord made him a gazillionaire. So, logic follows, if this mother would just disallow her son’s soccer playing on Sundays, he, too, would become one of the one percent.
There are lots of reasons to take a day off, be it Sunday or any other day. Spend time with the family. Relax. Update your Pinterest board. Make a nice meal. Eat grilled cheese and have more sex. Very seldom have you heard a gazillionaire espouse working one day less as the key to success. Besides, as everyone knows, the reason Chick-fil-A guy is a raging success is the original southern chicken sandwich with the little pickle in the middle. He’s got no idea how many people with hangovers curse him on Sundays.
And in New of the Not Ridiculous:
A reminder that Chef Christine is running a special for April:
$60 off any dinner party. Call her today to get on the schedule 480-390-6980 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.