I Love Him…He’s Invisible

In need of a significant other? Download one. I know, right? WTF? A few years ago, a guy gets a divorce. People won’t stop bugging him about dating, getting into a new relationship and moving on. He’s not really into it but it drives him nuts that people won’t stop.

Being a guy, he can’t look someone in the face and say, F-Off; confrontation and all. So instead he invents an app. A fake girlfriend app. The purpose? To show other

people that you are, in fact, in a relationship. For $24.99. No lie.

“Invisible boyfriend gives you real-world and social proof that you’re in a relationship-even if you’re not-so you can get back to living life on your own terms,” the site boasts.


So for about twenty-five green ones you get 100 texts, ten voicemails and one handwritten note. Only one note ‘cuz the written word is serious business. Only top-level real boyfriends put pen to paper. An actual love letter might be worth millions.

Combing reviews and articles, I remain baffled as to why one might want a fake boy, or yes, girlfriend. Wouldn’t it just make you feel worse? Couldn’t you get a buddy to do the same? Might an FB be the answer? At least an FB provides a place for all that pent up frustration over not having a real boyfriend to go. My married dolls say, “What’s an FB?” Think about it my girls. It’s a buddy that you f—. Seems easier and doesn’t cost twenty- five bucks. But that’s just me.

Let’s say you do want one of these boys or girls in your life. It really is quite clever. On the site, you create the story of how you met, give your fake lover a name of your choosing and pick his or her photo from a lineup. Most of them are pretty cute. Some not so much. Your choice. Once everything is in place, your cyber relationship begins. Evidently, your boy toy takes his time responding to your texts so, you know, he behaves like a real guy.

He says sweet things, laughs at your jokes and is available to show off to your friends through your phone. They’ll never meet him person, but he’s a helluva guy on social media. You can download yours here.


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