Fact Finding…I Am Aghast

Reading along the other day and stumble upon an article about honey never spoiling. Do some research. Truth. Honey never spoils. Do you know how much honey I have tossed out over the years? Only every time I move. Or whenever that little bear just doesn’t look quite as healthy as he used to. Damn. I could have honey right now.

It forces contemplation on what else we don’t know; knowledge we need walking about in the
world. Research finds there is, indeed, more.

vodka

The pink triangle glob in the corner of the human eye is left over from evolution. Seems we originally had an inner eyelid that just sort of gravitated to the corner and took up residence. Hmmm.

The first contraceptive is said to be crocodile dung used in Egypt 2000 years before the birth of Jesus. Bet it was mighty successful. Ain’t nobody going near that shit.

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards. Used that however you might need. There is wisdom there.

Sex has a ten times higher tranquilizing effect than valium. See? There’s a reason not to snuggle afterward. Just go to sleep. It’s nature.

When you die, your hair grows for a couple of months. As long as my mascara keeps my lashes looking healthy, we’re good.

Judge Judy makes 45 million dollars a year. Finish law school Middle Chicken.

Americans spend 30 million dollars on pet Halloween costumes. Lisa V. and Giggy are responsible for 29 million of it. Have you seen that dog’s wardrobe? It’s better than a Pinterest closet.

Horses can’t vomit. How do they become bulimic?

Pearls melt in vinegar. What? Blasphemy. There is a valid reason I don’t cook. It’s disaster waiting to happen.

Most lipstick contains fish scales. Is it the right shade? Who cares?

Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump. Their need to jump would be?

You can buy alcohol at Costco without a membership. Whaaaa? What is the purpose of the membership? This one requires more research. There is also the rumor that their house brand vodka is Grey Goose in disguise. What, exactly, does that mean?  No French accent? No haughty attitude? A crummy handbag? Perhaps this calls for a taste test.

Ladies, who’s in?

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