Elle Magazine conjured up a list of things women over thirty should never have in their homes. Of course, there are the absolute must nots everyone knows–teddy bears, too much pink and your mother. A surprise on the list is inspirational quotes. Word lovers adore quotes–they are fresh air to breathe in and ponder the wealth of rumination that went into their structure and depth. One small plaque sits in my office: “Innovation: The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
So, you know, that’s my general plan each day ‘cuz I’ve got that little sign providing inspiration. I got it on sale at Target. It seems apropos for an office. Perhaps not–I am over thirty. Whatever.
The female chickens and myself gather for a mass viewing of the Jersey Housewives and quotes again catapult to the forefront, one in particular. This leads to deep thought as to words that change lives, inspirational and not so much. Can words of wisdom actually get a girl through a rough day? You be the judge.
“The magnitude of his douchebaggery could clean a whale’s vagina,” says Dina Manzo referring to Amber’s husband, who was in fact acting douchy. Although his douchbaggery was indeed of large measure, not sure the highbrow Jersey audience followed along on the reference. Ponder a bit–still laughing.
On the other hand, there are quotes that spring forth from pure fact.
“There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.” –Sylvia Plath. That is all.
And there are, of course, personal favorites.
“A straight jacket is just a snuggie, with straps.”
“You know it’s been a good day when I didn’t have to unleash the flying monkeys.”
“God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I’m a badass.”
“It’s better to be late than arrive ugly.”
“You’re a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do.” The Dowager Countess.
“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.” Coco Chanel.
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield
“Behind every successful woman is herself.”
“Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive.”
“I’m afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.” Lorelei Gilmore.
“Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.” Margaret Shepard
“If a man whistles at you, do not respond. You are a lady, not a dog.” Adele
“What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”
“Shoes speak louder than words.”
“The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.” Louis CK
“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” Steel Magnolias
“It’s not drinking alone if there are screaming children outside the closet door.”
And this: “Trust me, you can dance.” –Vodka.
There–all the inspiration a girl needs–and none hanging on the wall of your over-thirty abode. Faux pas averted. Whew!